I’ve lived in Greater London for most of my adult life, but Sussex, my birthplace, will always have my heart.
asserted
Sussex → live → heart
Even so, loving a county is a lot like loving your family.
asserted
loving → love → family
Some you adore, and others, like the dodgy uncle you try to avoid at weddings and the wayward cousin nobody likes to talk about, let the side down.
asserted
side → adore → weddings
And yes, I’m looking at you, Chichester and Brighton.
asserted
I → look → Chichester
When I grew up in Sussex, it was inhabited by locals, artists and the occasional celebrity.
asserted
it → grow → locals
It’s heaving with DFLs (Down From London) chasing clean air and a bigger garden.
asserted
It → heave → air
I get it.
asserted
I → get → it
I’ve done it myself.
asserted
I → do → it
But here’s the truth no glossy supplement will tell you: once you’ve lived in or near the British capital, with its culture, well-read neighbours and sourdough on every corner, ending up in a soulless Sussex commuter town can feel less 'fresh start' and more 'what have I done?'
asserted
I → ’ → what
Every year, it’s the same spots on the ‘Best Places to Live’ lists.
asserted
it → ’ → Live
And now, Chichester has been named one of the world’s top travel destinations.
asserted
Chichester → name → destinations
But every year, I wonder if they’re recycling copy written in 1998.
asserted
they → wonder → 1998
If some of these towns were a person, they’d be an accountant called Kevin.
asserted
they → call → towns
I moved to Eastbourne last summer and, having grown up here and explored every inch of Sussex, here’s my brutally honest guide to the desirable, the charming and the deeply disappointing spots.
asserted
guide → move → desirable
Because beaches and countryside don’t always turn a place into somewhere you’d actually want to live, or even stay in, for any length of time...
asserted
you → turn → time
Sally Brockway (pictured) told the Daily Mail:'I’ve lived in Greater London for most of my adult life, but Sussex, my birthplace, will always have my heart.
asserted
Sussex → picture → heart
Even so, loving a county is a lot like loving your family.'
asserted
loving → love → family
Chichester is chock-full of churches as it was once divided into nine medieval parishes, and boasts a magnificent cathedral.
So, if stained-glass windows and engravings are your thing, fill your boots.
asserted
windows → divide → boots
If you crave excitement, give it a miss because the place is about as edgy as a doily.
asserted
place → crave → doily
On paper, the district ticks all the boxes - unspoilt sandy beaches at West Wittering, Roman roots, a flagship theatre and thriving art scene.
asserted
district → tick → Wittering
In reality, it’s bitterly disappointing.
asserted
it → ’ → reality
It’s like that Hinge date that looks perfect on paper - great teeth, impressive credentials and a healthy bank balance, but when you finally meet… there’s just no chemistry, and you realise you’d have more fun doing your tax return.
asserted
you → ’ → return
There’s a dearth of decent places to eat in Chichester itself; unless you like chains, there’s no nightlife to speak of and public transport is unreliable.
And don’t be fooled by the district’s good looks because crime rates in certain areas are high.
asserted
rates → ’ → areas
It’s a curious mix of raised eyebrows and middle fingers.
asserted
It → ’ → eyebrows
Kate Winslet has a place nearby, and Keith Richards goes to council meetings, but that’s about as rock ‘n’ roll as it gets.
asserted
it → have → meetings
Chichester has just been named one of the world’s top ten fastest-growing tourism spots according to Unpack 27 Report, but you’d do better getting your theatre fix in Brighton or Eastbourne and visiting Lewes for charm and lovely independent shops.
uncertain
you → name → charm
While Brighton is only an hour from London, Sally noted: 'There's always an excuse for why the trains are delayed/cancelled.
asserted
trains → note → London
Driver having a day off'
asserted
Driver → have → day
Brighton is where liberal Londoners go when they've had enough of the capital but can't quite let go of oat milk and identity politics.
And parts of it are still fabulous - the Regency architecture that's been the backdrop for dozens of period dramas, the Lanes with its quirky independent shops, and more bakeries per person than a place really needs.
asserted
place → go → person
What's not to love?
asserted
What → love → ?
But look closer - it's filthy.
asserted
it → look → ?
Takeaway cartons line the pavements, beer bottles decorate the beach, and burst bin bags spill out onto streets like a permanent installation called 'Urban Decay'.
asserted
bags → line → installation
Foxes and seagulls are thriving.
asserted
seagulls → thrive → ?
If you enjoy vibrating molars from club bass and dodging stag dos mid-vomit, you'll thrive.
asserted
you → enjoy → dos
It's not car-friendly either - traffic is often gridlocked, parking is a blood sport, and using RingGo feels like a mugging.
asserted
using → gridlocke → mugging
There's always an excuse for why the trains are delayed/cancelled.
asserted
trains → be → ?
Driver having a day off.
asserted
Driver → have → day
The sea air won't feel so good when the daily commute destroys you.
And it's always windy.
asserted
it → feel → you
It's so bad, you might find yourself wearing a Dryrobe 24/7, but don't worry, it's not as naff as wearing one in Kensington Gardens.
uncertain
it → find → Gardens
I hate to slate my birthplace, but the Brighton I loved no longer exists.
asserted
I → hate → birthplace
…and 92 more, not listed.
The Aporia
