Many years ago, I was lucky enough to be invited to an evening at Jemima Goldsmith’s country house in the Cotswolds.
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I → invite → Cotswolds
Everything was effortlessly elegant: roaring fires, big floppy dogs on the sofa, stylish furnishings, fantastic company.
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Everything → roar → sofa
That’s why, when I heard shortly afterwards that she was dating Russell Brand, I was completely baffled.
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I → ’ → Brand
Why on earth would someone as classy as Goldsmith even entertain a loathsome little low-rent toad like that?
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someone → entertain → that
It just seemed inconceivable to me.
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It → seem → me
I think I even wrote that in one of my columns: needless to say, I was not invited back.
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I → think → columns
Now, over a decade on from that ill-fated romance, Goldsmith has shared shocking details of her relationship with the convicted sex offender, who last week was found guilty on one count of rape and three of sexual assault, and sentenced on Monday to more than 10 years in jail.
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who → fat → jail
Over a decade on from her romance with Russell Brand, Jemima Goldsmith has shared shocking details of her relationship with the convicted sex offender
Goldsmith has done well to quell online speculation over a harassment order which she and Brand took out jointly in September 2014 against massage therapist Szilvia Berki; but she makes no defence of her ex-lover.
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she → share → lover
‘I am going to describe some painful and personal things in relation to Russell Brand,’ she wrote on X on Monday.
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she → go → Monday
‘I have had my own personal experience of his violence, coercive control and abuse.
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I → have → violence
I had to call the police to have him removed from my house in 2014 during a violent incident.’
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him → have → incident
Meanwhile, footage of the pop star Katy Perry, who married Brand in 2010 after a whirlwind romance, is doing the rounds online.
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who → marry → rounds
She is lying backstage in her dressing room, sobbing, just moments before she’s due to perform in front of thousands of adoring fans.
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she → lie → fans
Brand has just dumped her by text.
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Brand → dump → text
At the precise moment of her greatest success, he has chosen, deliberately, to bring her crashing back down to earth.
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he → choose → earth
She was heartbroken – although Perry has since revised her opinion.
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Perry → revise → opinion
In June this year, during a live performance at the Blenheim Festival in Oxfordshire, she told the audience: ‘I hope my ex isn’t here.
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ex → tell → audience
And then there’s Brand’s current wife, who is clearly utterly besotted with him and – for now, at least – blind to the realities of who she married.
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she → ’ → who
Laura grew up on the Wentworth Estate in Surrey and is the daughter of Scottish golfing legend and former Ryder Cup champion Bernard Gallacher.
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Laura → grow → legend
She first met Brand when she was just 19.
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she → meet → Brand
Why do beautiful, successful, talented, big-hearted women end up with men like Brand?
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women → end → Brand
All three of these women could have had anyone they wanted – and yet they chose this grubby weirdo with bird’s nest hair and the morals of an alley cat.
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they → have → cat
I know from conversations with friends in TV that there were many other less famous but equally talented and successful women along the way, who found themselves in thrall to this man’s dubious charms.
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themselves → know → charms
Women who were tough as nails in their professional lives but who would turn into dribbling idiots the moment he walked into a studio.
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he → turn → studio
At every turn, his openly outrageous and overtly sexual behaviour seemed not only to go unchallenged but was even rewarded: with fame, fortune and endless offers of work.
Indeed, it must have seemed to Brand that the nastier he was, the more women loved him.
Singer Katy Perry and Russell Brand in 2010.
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women → seem → 2010
The comedian dumped her via text just moments before she was due to perform in front of thousands of fans – ending their 14-month marriage
What is it about the female psyche that is drawn to men like Brand? What is it that makes us ignore the red flags and obvious signs of danger – and allow these sorts of predators to enter our lives?
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sorts → dump → lives
It’s not as though Brand made any bones about the kind of person he was.
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he → ’ → person
He never made any attempt to conceal his true nature – indeed, if anything it was his calling card.
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it → make → nature
I think the answer is that danger is a powerful aphrodisiac, even more powerful if one lives a relatively conventional, structured, even sheltered existence.
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one → think → existence
It’s what drew Victorian readers to wild, vengeful Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights; it’s what fuelled the success of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, a rotting, depraved corpse who somehow manages to remain eternally seductive to innocent young women.
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who → ’ → women
It’s the same with cinema: think of Marlon Brando in The Wild One, Brad Pitt in Fight Club, or Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean – on whom Brand arguably modelled his sartorial choices and exuberant delivery.
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Brand → ’ → choices
The entire blues/rock ‘n’ roll canon is pretty much based on the same premise, from Muddy Waters to Mick Jagger and everyone in between.
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canon → base → between
Nice guys finish last; bad guys get the girl.
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guys → finish → girl
In fact, the whole idea of ‘treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen’ was crystallised in a book published in 2005, around the time of Brand’s rise to fame.
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idea → treat → fame
The Game, by Neil Strauss, exposed the strange world of the underground ‘seduction community’, a secretive male subculture dedicated to practising certain psychological techniques to seduce the kind of women who would not normally have given them a second glance.
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who → expose → glance
In fact, he credited the book for his success with women and the development of his ‘shamanic seducer’ character, saying: ‘Strauss’s writing turned me from a desperate wallflower into a wallflower who can talk women into sex’.
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who → credit → sex
Some of the techniques explored included concepts such as ‘negging’ (backhanded compliments designed to undermine a woman’s confidence) and ‘peacocking’ (cultivating an eccentric or flamboyant look to stand out): all familiar Brand behaviours.
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look → explore → confidence
The lifestyle the book prescribes was a precursor to what is today known as the highly misogynistic manosphere, led by the likes of Andrew Tate and others (also, no coincidence, accused of multiple sexual assaults).
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what → prescribe → assaults
Strauss himself later turned his back on the whole thing, rightly concluding that the premise was fuelled by deep-seated male insecurity, not to mention a highly dubious perception of the opposite sex.
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premise → turn → sex
Brand’s kind is the rapist seducer, the one who plays the game until he has you where he wants you – then flips the narrative before you’ve even realised what’s going on, writes Sarah Vine
Of course, not every brash chat-up line leads to dangerous or unwanted behaviour.
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line → play → behaviour
…and 16 more, not listed.