Manhattan resident Chris Smalls, 35, recently confessed in a now-viral Reddit post that he was fired from a new corporate gig after just 2.5 hours because his bosses “cited hygiene issues.”
asserted
bosses → confess → issues
Smalls, who posted under the username Havocko, wrote that after nine months of unemployment, he found the position through a temp agency.
asserted
he → post → agency
Smalls says he showered the night before his job began, and wore a brand-new polo shirt when he showed up at the AI tech company where he was hired to work in “people ops.”
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he → say → ops
After an uneventful first few hours filled with light onboarding, he was told to take an early lunch.
asserted
he → fill → lunch
Before he even made it out of the building, he received a call from the temp agency notifying him that he was being let go for “hygiene issues.”
asserted
he → make → issues
In an exclusive phone call with The Post, Smalls recalled that the liaison who broke the news sounded confused and didn’t elaborate on his dismissal, though she did ask what he had been wearing.
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he → recall → what
He confirmed it was the brand-new polo shirt he had set out the night before.
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he → confirm → ?
The jilted employee maintains that he was well-groomed and washed, telling online detractors, “I thoroughly washed myself, including my a**,” though he conceded his pants “could’ve used a lint roller.”
uncertain
pants → maintain → roller
“Could it have been when I scratched my nose and it looked like I was picking it?” Smalls wrote.
uncertain
Smalls → scratch → it
“Maybe at some point I burped with my mouth closed and someone heard it?
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someone → burp → it
I honestly don’t know and haven’t received closure.”
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I → know → closure
He asked both his roommate and a friend if he smelled; both said no, and he has no reason to believe they lied.
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they → ask → reason
Smalls added that while he owns a cat and a dog, his apartment is clean, he lives with a “clean freak,” and only one roommate smokes.
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roommate → add → freak
Smalls told The Post that although the temp agency initially expressed interest in continuing to work with him, he hasn’t heard back since a follow-up call where he pleaded his case.
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he → tell → case
He still has not been paid for his brief shift.
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He → pay → shift
Reactions to Smalls’ post—which racked up over 7,500 upvotes in under 24 hours—ranged from sympathy to suspicion.
asserted
which → rack → suspicion
“It’s possible to shower poorly and insufficiently,” wrote one netizen, who wondered why Smalls didn’t shower in the morning like most adults.
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Smalls → ’ → adults
“Also, especially after a night of sleep, I consider deodorant a daily must.”
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deodorant → consider → sleep
“I’m so sorry,” wrote a more sympathetic commentor.
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commentor → ’m → ?
“This would make me paranoid as hell and super self-conscious.
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me → make → hell
I’m sure they just needed to invent a reason to send you away and chose violence.”
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they → ’m → violence
A few Redditors suggested Smalls might be a victim of “hire to fire“—the practice of hiring employees with the intent to terminate them quickly to satisfy internal metrics or turnover quotas.
uncertain
Smalls → suggest → metrics
Smalls considers this unlikely given his short-term contract, noting that after a few weeks of reflection, his “best guess is that they thought I was picking my nose.”
asserted
I → consider → nose
Now back on the job market, Smalls admits there may not be much of a lesson to learn beyond a grim realization: “Jobs will make up any excuse to let you go, and temp agencies are users.”
uncertain
agencies → admit → excuse
“The laws regarding firing people need to change,” Smalls added.
asserted
Smalls → regard → people
“If New York weren’t an at-will state, I’d probably still be employed.”
asserted
I → employ → will
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