A dear friend of 10 years experienced a severe mental health crisis.
asserted
friend → experience → crisis
I did my best to reach out to her, but she pushed me away and flaked on plans and important events at the last minute at least a dozen times.
asserted
she → do → minute
Once her mental health began to improve, I approached her and told her I understood her behavior had been largely out of her control, but it still hurt when she pushed me away and canceled at the last minute for meaningful events in my life.
asserted
she → begin → life
She apologized, I accepted, and I thought we could move on again as close friends.
uncertain
we → apologize → friends
She is now engaged to a man and seems to put no time or value into our friendship.
asserted
She → seem → friendship
I am grieving the loss of a dear friend and struggling to accept that it is over.
asserted
it → grieve → friend
I have many questions: Did we simply drift apart?
asserted
we → have → questions
Is she upset that I confronted her, and was I wrong to do so?
asserted
I → confront → her
Do 10 years of friendship mean nothing?
asserted
years → mean → nothing
I’m afraid another difficult conversation will create a worse outcome, but I miss the friend I once had.
asserted
I → ’m → friend
Where is the line to excuse behavior under the duress of mental health and at what point do I simply accept that she is no longer a good friend, mental health crisis aside?
asserted
she → excuse → health
As much as this close friendship may have meant to you, it’s time to realize that these relationships are not always static.
uncertain
relationships → mean → you
They can evolve, devolve and change.
asserted
They → evolve → ?
You were within your rights to express to the woman that you felt pushed away during her mental health crisis.
asserted
you → express → crisis
Those were your feelings, and you were entitled to them.
The time has come now for you to lighten up.
asserted
you → come → them
Your friend is happily engaged to someone who makes her happy, and her attention and priorities have shifted away from her close friendship with you.
asserted
attention → make → you
It isn’t that you are no longer good friends, it’s that the intensity has lessened.
asserted
intensity → ’ → ?
Handle that as you wish, but I see nothing positive to be gained by another confrontation.
asserted
I → handle → confrontation
My daughter is getting married to “Bob,” who has an 8-year-old son, “Ricky,” from a previous marriage.
asserted
who → marry → marriage
The plan was to have Bob’s son be the ring bearer and have my 2 1/2-year-old grandson, “Aiden,” be the flower boy.
asserted
grandson → have → ?
However, Ricky has autism, and Bob has decided that it would be better to not include him in the ceremony.
asserted
it → have → ceremony
Now he says he doesn’t want Aiden to be in the ceremony, either.
asserted
Aiden → say → ceremony
I can understand Bob’s feelings, but it does not seem fair to me.
asserted
it → understand → me
You may feel let down by this decision, but trust that your grandson will never know the difference.
uncertain
grandson → feel → difference
When planning a wedding, the bride and groom organize the ceremony in whatever way they feel will best celebrate their union.
asserted
they → plan → union
Fairness doesn’t play a role in it, and no one is owed a place in the wedding party.
asserted
one → play → party
Attend the wedding with joy in your heart, and show your daughter how much you love her by respecting her decision.
asserted
you → attend → decision
** ** **
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
asserted
Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
asserted
which → pen → mother
The Aporia
