- Published
Warning: This story covers stillbirths and some people may find the details distressing
One date is etched into Richard Ganjavi's memory: 6 August 2024.
uncertain
date → publish → memory
It was the day for the routine 34-week scan for the twins he was expecting with his wife, Naomi.
asserted
he → expect → wife
"The room went quiet.
asserted
room → go → ?
[The woman doing the scan] said the words that shattered everything: "I'm so sorry, there isn't a heartbeat."
asserted
I → do → everything
Naomi and Richard were rushed from Stratford Hospital to Warwick Hospital but Bella was stillborn.
asserted
Bella → rush → Hospital
"We just fell to pieces," Richard said.
asserted
Richard → fall → pieces
In the time since then, Bella's twin sister, Penny, who was born healthily, has just celebrated her second birthday.
asserted
who → bear → birthday
In those two years, Richard said he processed his grief by writing a children's book, Whispers of a Purple Butterfly, inspired by his story.
asserted
he → say → story
The primary school teacher started writing within weeks of the loss of Bella.
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teacher → start → Bella
"We had two cots upstairs, two seats in the car, a double pram.
asserted
We → have → car
Two years on we could be walking down the street, and see someone with twins and every time it just gets you
uncertain
it → walk → you
," he admitted.
"
asserted
he → admit → ?
In a way you never get over it."
asserted
you → get → it
The book is about Lucy, a fictional 10-year-old who is the surviving twin of a similar situation and aimed at eight to 12 year olds.
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who → survive → olds
Richard, who lives in Meon Vale, near Stratford-upon-Avon, said the process was "a way of getting it down and out of my head".
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process → live → head
But the novel has since taken on a larger meaning for the family with Richard reading it to Penny, so she has something when she is old enough to understand, "to know that she will always be enough".
asserted
she → take → something
The reaction from those who have read the book had blown Richard away, he admitted.
asserted
he → read → Richard
"I've had so many messages from bereaved parents, people who've lost a family member or a close friend," he said.
"They've all said, after reading the book, 'wow, where was it when I needed it'."
asserted
I → have → it
He hoped charities, teachers and therapists could use the book to help those dealing with the loss of a baby.
uncertain
charities → hop → baby
The stillbirth rate for England and Wales in 2024 was 3.9 per 1,000 total births, according to the Office for National Statistics.
uncertain
rate → accord → Statistics
Holly Hawkesford is a midwife at Warwick Hospital and her son, Jasper, died seven hours after he was born in 2014.
asserted
he → die → 2014
Alongside her job, she now runs a charity, Jasper's Rainbow, and, like Richard, wrote a book about her experience.
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she → run → experience
She hoped to work with him to raise awareness of baby loss: "Books are a mirror and a window.
"
asserted
Books → hop → loss
People who've been through a similar experience need to see that mirrored back, and then people who haven't need a window into what it's like."
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it → need → what
Richard and Naomi make regular visits to the hospital's Rainbow Garden, where Bella has a glass leaf in her memory.
asserted
Bella → make → memory
They have become friends with nurses and midwives at the special care baby unit who looked after Penny as well as them, after the loss of Bella.
asserted
who → become → Bella
Two of the midwives went on to become Penny's godmothers.
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Two → go → midwives
"We've really built a relationship with Richard and Naomi, and it's really lovely to see them coming back," Lead nurse Bettina Powell said.
"
asserted
Powell → build → Richard
It's really important...to remember the loss of Bella."
asserted
It → remember → Bella
"It's been so lovely watching Penny grow, seeing how they navigate everything and all the things they've done," neonatal nurse Teri added.
"
asserted
Teri → watch → everything
It's been so lovely feeling part of their journey."
asserted
It → feel → journey
Richard said he wanted his book be become a lasting legacy for Bella
"
asserted
book → say → Bella
When we talk about her, we say her name with pride," he said.
asserted
he → talk → pride
"The grief doesn't go away, but the world around our grief has got bigger."
asserted
world → go → grief
The Aporia
