Patrick Clancy begged for just one of his children to survive, held baby Callan as he died in his arms and revealed why he forgave Lindsay after she killed their three children.
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she → beg → children
Speaking with correspondent Ross Douthat on CBS News' "60 Minutes," the grieving father shared new details about his children's final moments, what Lindsay told him about the killings and the online attacks he says are hurting their legacy.
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he → speak → legacy
The interview aired after Lindsay's triple-murder trial ended in a mistrial.
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trial → air → mistrial
Her attorneys argued she was suffering from postpartum psychosis and was not criminally responsible, while prosecutors maintained she knew what she was doing.
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she → argue → what
From his desperate plea at the hospital to the online claims that followed the mistrial, Patrick described how the tragedy has shaped every part of his life.
‘Just give me one’
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tragedy → follow → one
Patrick said he clung to hope that Callan might survive after his siblings, 5-year-old Cora and 3-year-old Dawson, were found dead inside the family's Duxbury, Massachusetts, home.
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siblings → say → home
Doctors had restored the baby's heartbeat, and Patrick told Douthat he began imagining the life he could still give his youngest child.
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he → restore → child
"I remember that night, I really thought there was a chance that Callan would live," Patrick said.
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Patrick → remember → ?
"And I remember just thinking, ‘Just give me one.
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I → think → one
Just give me one kid,’" he continued.
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he → give → kid
"And I would raise him as best I could, and I would give him the best life I possibly could.
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I → raise → life
And I'd tell him about his brother and sister."
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I → tell → brother
Patrick said that hope faded when he reached Boston Children's Hospital and saw the look on a doctor's face.
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he → say → face
Callan's heart continued beating for four days.
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heart → beat → days
Patrick became emotional as he recalled apologizing to his son and spending his final moments beside him.
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he → become → him
"I said, ‘I'm so sorry,’" he told Douthat, his voice breaking.
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voice → say → Douthat
"And I got to hold him.
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I → get → him
I got to lay down next to him.
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I → get → him
And he died in my arms.
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he → die → arms
While Callan remained in the hospital, Patrick said he held his son's hand and used his free hand to write about all three children.
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he → remain → children
He told Douthat he feared their memories might fade if he did not put them into words.
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he → tell → words
Lindsay never asked for forgiveness
The tributes Patrick wrote also included words of forgiveness for Lindsay.
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Patrick → ask → Lindsay
He said she has never asked him to forgive her, but he chose to give that forgiveness anyway.
"I saw headlines that said, you know, ‘killer mom’ and ‘baby murderer,’ ‘monster,’ and none of them were accurate," Patrick said during the interview.
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Patrick → say → interview
"I believe that it was her mental illness that caused that."
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that → believe → that
Patrick said he also feared anger would consume him if he could not forgive her.
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he → say → her
"I felt that if I didn't get there, I would be eaten up inside," he said.
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he → feel → ?
When Patrick asked Lindsay whether she remembered killing their children, he said she described the memory as dreamlike.
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she → ask → memory
"She said it was like a dream, and she remembered it much in the way you would remember a dream after waking up," he told Douthat.
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he → say → Douthat
Patrick said he did the best he could as Lindsay's condition worsened but must live with what happened.
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what → say → best
"I think I did the best I could with what I had at the time, and I live with the outcome," he said.
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he → think → outcome
"I live with it every day."
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I → live → it
Grief left him unsure he would survive
Patrick told Douthat his grief became so overwhelming that he questioned whether he would live to see another birthday.
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he → leave → birthday
"There was a time where I didn't think I would live to see my 35th birthday, and I was completely fine with it," he said.
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he → be → it
Patrick later left Duxbury for New York City, where he could grieve without being recognized.
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he → leave → City
Five weeks after the move, on what would have been Callan's first birthday, he went to St. Patrick's Cathedral, lit a candle and told his son, "I love you, buddy."
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I → go → you
"And I walk out on Fifth Avenue and I start crying my eyes out, and nobody cared," Patrick recalled.
For Patrick, being able to cry without drawing attention was exactly what he needed.
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he → walk → what
"I thought, this is where I need to be," he said.
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he → think → ?
"I can grieve."
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I → grieve → ?
His Manhattan apartment remains filled with reminders of the children, including a baby sloth Cora carried everywhere and a photograph of Callan wearing an oversized bow tie, "60 Minutes" showed.
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Minutes → fill → tie
Patrick said they also return to him in vivid dreams.
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they → say → dreams
…and 22 more, not listed.
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