We’ve probably all given up alcohol at some point, eager to give our bodies some respite following a period of boozing.
asserted
We → give → boozing
Dry January is the big one, squirrelling ourselves away during those long winter nights, swearing off all fun in the name of ‘New Year, New Me’.
asserted
January → squirrelle → Year
In winter, the key to success is social isolation and a Faustian pact with the devil that if we cocoon ourselves away from all temptations and any need to look beautiful, enveloping ourselves in hoodies and sweatpants, we get to emerge from a hoolie-free hibernation like glossy butterflies, with not just a recovered liver but a sleek new look and transformed energy levels.
asserted
we → cocoon → liver
But imagine deciding, as I have, that what I need is to give my system a short, sharp shock, going teetotal for seven days to see if it makes me look better in advance of a big-number birthday party of a friend, and to do it at this busy time of the year, that post-summer, back-to-the-coalface season, when I am going out every night and still need to look good throughout.
asserted
I → decide → coalface
The twin-horned dilemma is how to not drink and still have fun, and what to drink instead?
asserted
dilemma → drink → what
My favoured tipple is rosé or prosecco, with champagne if offered.
asserted
tipple → offer → champagne
Throw in long, lazy lunches at weekends and I can easily tot up a weekly total of 56 units – four times the recommended intake for women.
asserted
I → throw → women
In cutting down to none, a GP friend assures me that I will almost instantly see the results of abstinence – not just invisibly, in my liver, but for all to witness: in the reduction of puffiness in the bags above and below my eyes, in the smoothing out of my skin, the reduction of fine lines and redness and in the increasing brightness of my eyes.
asserted
I → cut → eyes
Call me cynical, but I don’t believe that this is possible so
asserted
this → call → me
, just to set the bar of the challenge even higher, I vow to take a selfie at 7am every day that week, make-up-free and in the full harshness of morning light, for a fierce and forensic comparison, day by day, of said skin and eyes.
asserted
I → set → skin
Susannah Jowitt decided to give up alcohol for a week after a chat with a GP friend
Putting myself under the microscope of morning light like this is even braver for me than it would be for most others – because my 57-year-old face is quite the sight at 7am; still creased and puffy from sleep, eyes bloodshot from the carousing and lateness of the night before.
asserted
eyes → decide → night
So much so that it is a joke among my family and friends, that my smartphone’s Face ID doesn’t work for me until 8.30am at the earliest.
asserted
ID → work → earliest
I am so troll-like first thing that even my own phone doesn’t recognise me and let me in.
asserted
phone → recognise → me
So how likely is it that stopping drinking could show on that face in such a short time?
uncertain
stopping → stop → time
Really quite likely, I am told by Dr David Neilson, the aforementioned GP friend.
asserted
I → tell → Neilson
‘Put simply, the face and eyes act like an early warning system for the body,’ he says.
asserted
he → put → body
‘It’s one of alcohol’s odd contradictions: while it dehydrates you overall, it has an inflammatory effect that can also make parts of your body retain fluid and around the eyes, both in the bags underneath and in the eye socket above, that soft tissue is a swift indicator of how hydrated you are.
asserted
you → ’ → socket
At the same time, the vasodilatory effect of alcohol can be seen both in the bloodshot eyes – as the blood vessels on the surface of the eye expand visibly – and in the swelling of the mucosal lining of the nose, which is why drinkers snore.
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drinkers → see → nose
‘The good news is that what goes quickly up, comes quickly down.
asserted
goes → go → ?
Even a couple of days off the booze improves sleep and lowers the vasodilatory effects of alcohol: so, less swelling all round.
asserted
couple → improve → alcohol
Equally quick is the effect of decent hydration: drinking more water literally dilutes the effects of the alcohol it is replacing, leading to less inflammation and less disruption of the tear layers which keep your eye lubricated.
asserted
eye → drink → layers
‘Which should translate, for you, into reduced eyelid swelling, less under-eye puffiness, diminished facial bloating and redness, even brighter, whiter eyes because you’ll be rubbing them less.
asserted
you → translate → them
‘I never want to sound preachy but I think you’ll be impressed.’
asserted
you → want → ?
At the start of my alcohol-free challenge, my skin was bloated and reddened after a lengthy drinking session the previous day, says Susannah
I’m going to need every millimetre of the promised improvement because, on Day One, I nearly crack the camera lens on my phone.
asserted
I → redden → phone
I went to bed late, from a friend’s all-day (and into the night) lunch party, and I look like I’ve done a few rounds with Tyson Fury, then been chased away from the boxing ring by a swarm of angry bees.
asserted
I → go → bees
I am reddened of skin, bloated of face, and every one of the 12 glasses of champagne I had over the 12 hours of the party is tallied up in the lines on my face, like marks scored on the wall of a prison cell by a lifer.
asserted
I → have → lifer
My eyes look like hard-boiled eggs wearing puffa jackets – and the bags underneath them could be the full set of luggage given away on the Generation Game.
uncertain
bags → look → Game
‘Hmmm,’ says my husband tactfully.
asserted
husband → say → ?
‘It’s not great.’
asserted
It → ’ → ?
By 6pm, mindful of those words, I’m wearing makeup and dressed to the nines for a party organised by my choir.
asserted
I → wear → choir
To forestall any social anxiety, of being seen as the boring non-drinking one at an event that is famously well-oiled, I have brought my own bottle of Nozeco Rosé alcohol-free prosecco (£3.50, available in most supermarkets).
asserted
I → forestall → supermarkets
It looks like the real deal and, while it doesn’t quite taste like prosecco, it’s less sweet than the soft canned drinks that I have always hated.
Day Two
On Day Two I'm not noticing much change in my appearance... but then I'm too busy popping headache pills
I would gasp with horror at the sight of me on Day Two, but I’m too busy popping headache pills.
asserted
I → look → pills
This seems unfair – it’s not as if I can be hungover but I know that this is the price of withdrawal: the blood vessels in my brain are hurtling back to their usual diameter and my circulation is readjusting, with a headache being the body’s way of helping me through.
asserted
headache → seem → me
Water is the best medicine so I glug away, feeling better by 10am, just in time to set off for a lunch party being thrown by a magazine I write for.
asserted
I → glug → magazine
Normally I’d keenly avail myself of the free booze but today I hear myself asking weakly what they have in the way of soft drinks.
asserted
they → avail → drinks
After an hour or so, I’m holding back the burps and feeling both bored and bilious as, around me, my pals start ordering cocktails…
Giving up drinking always feels harder when you don’t like fizzy pop, get bored of the herby gaseousness of all the Botivo and Seedlip alternatives and can find nothing that tastes better than wine to have with food.
asserted
that → hold → food
These days, luckily, it’s a more forgiving world than when I was having children and unable to drink during pregnancy.
asserted
I → ’ → pregnancy
Now, you can find very tolerable alcohol-free wines: rosé or rosé prosecco (like the Noughty range online or at Majestic) often being the best, if you drink it a little colder than you do normal rosé.
asserted
you → find → rosé
Zero white wine is usually only drinkable if chilled to Antarctic temperatures and they’ve got a way to go with red wine, though the Torres Natureo Red is better than most.
asserted
Red → chill → most
Day Three
On Day Three my eyes remain puffy, with bloodshot eyes...
asserted
eyes → remain → eyes
…and 36 more, not listed.
The Aporia
