How does it happen that the most intense, loving bond between mother and child ends in murder?
asserted
bond → happen → murder
The most uncommon form of family violence is this – when a mother is murdered by her own child.
asserted
mother → murder → child
We call that murder parricide, when a child, now an adult, murders a parent.
asserted
child → call → parent
That figure of 20 presents an increase of just under 70 per cent from the normal, the regular, although there should be nothing normal or regular about murder.
asserted
figure → present → murder
And in some of those cases, both parents would have been killed.
asserted
parents → kill → cases
It’s an increase because of pressure.
asserted
It → ’ → pressure
Last weekend in NSW alone, a 90-year-old woman was allegedly stabbed by her 47-year-old grandson in a Bondi Beach unit.
uncertain
woman → stab → unit
Four hours later, police were called to an incident in northern NSW where they found the decapitated body of a 70-year-old woman.
asserted
they → call → woman
The woman’s son has now been charged with murder.
asserted
son → charge → murder
Researchers tell me they aren’t sure if these figures are just a blip.
asserted
figures → tell → me
What they also can’t give me, with any degree of certainty, is the motive for these murders.
asserted
give → give → murders
How does that glorious, nurturing relationship break down?
asserted
relationship → nurture → ?
I can give you a million reasons why men murder their partners and former partners.
asserted
men → give → partners
But when men and women murder their parents, the reasons aren’t about control.
asserted
reasons → murder → control
I fear it’s because life has spun out of control.
asserted
life → fear → control
It happens in every state and territory in Australia.
asserted
It → happen → Australia
NSW is the worst but it happens across the nation.
asserted
it → happen → nation
And as children now live with their parents for longer and longer, and as financial pressures grow across the country, we are already seeing a surge in what’s commonly called elder abuse.
asserted
what → live → surge
Yes, adult children are pressuring their parents for money, for property, in a community where it’s just not always possible to do that for yourself.
asserted
it → pressure → yourself
Those adult children are hurting those who nurtured them.
asserted
who → hurt → them
Could it be that the surge in elder abuse, now at a rate of one in six in the community, is ending in a surge of elder murder?
uncertain
surge → end → murder
Yumi Lee, CEO of the Older Women’s Network, sees this result as an accumulation of all the system failures.
asserted
Lee → see → failures
We aren’t seeing enough prevention, early intervention or mental health supports.
asserted
We → see → prevention
“Everything has been cut to the bone, all our support systems are crumbling,” she said.
asserted
she → cut → bone
And one of those systems, how we relate to each other, the ordinary personal relationships we have, is also breaking down.
asserted
we → relate → other
Senior research manager at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, Rachel Carson, describes it as a fracturing of family and the idea that we have responsibility towards older people, the surprising ageism in every aspect of our culture.
asserted
we → describe → culture
Carson reminds me of the government’s national plan to end elder abuse, to ensure that older people are safe and valued, heard and respected, to live, in the words of the plan itself “free from abuse and mistreatment”.
asserted
people → remind → abuse
The plan itself recognises it’s aspirational.
asserted
it → recognise → ?
But the journey to this pain and chaos doesn’t start when someone turns 60.
asserted
someone → start → pain
Every single system in this country aids the journey to a country where so little honours age and experience – while at the same time urgently needing the labour of women and men in their 60s, 70s and 80s, so long as nobody has to pay for it.
asserted
nobody → aid → it
This week’s Intergenerational Report showed us just how much Australia relies on unpaid labour to keep the wheels turning.
asserted
wheels → show → labour
Meanwhile, our gears grind, our ability to get along, to compromise, to listen, diminish daily.
asserted
ability → grind → ?
Our anguish, our frustration, grows daily.
asserted
anguish → grow → ?
Bricknell says the data from the last three years shows a spike in parricide.
asserted
data → say → parricide
She’s not sure if it’s actually a trend and like all careful researchers wants to wait until there is more data.
asserted
it → ’ → researchers
But she also acknowledges that UK research revealed that in some cases of parricide, parents were just not able to get the kind of health support they urgently needed for their adult children.
asserted
they → acknowledge → children
The researcher says that the longer we live in a society where adult children are forced to live with their parents because of increased intergenerational wealth inequality, the more likely we are to see increased parricide – there are, Bricknell says, financial motivations around some of the murders.
asserted
Bricknell → say → murders
“A lot of these individuals are living with their parents because they can’t live independently,” she says.
asserted
she → live → parents
It’s not just money, it’s about mental health.
asserted
it → ’ → health
Plus, Australia is getting older, much older.
asserted
Australia → get → ?
…and 8 more, not listed.
The Aporia
