- Published
"We definitely did all we could and I can honestly sleep at night knowing there was nothing I physically could have done any different.
uncertain
I → publish → night
It is 10 years since Nicola Urquhart's son, Corrie Mckeague, disappeared on 24 September 2016 after a night out in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk.
asserted
son → disappear → Edmunds
For the months and years that followed, she embodied a mother's love and determination to find the truth: to never give up.
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she → follow → truth
The RAF gunner's body has never been found but he was officially declared dead in 2022, when an inquest ruled he had died after climbing into a commercial waste bin before it was tipped into a waste lorry.
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it → find → lorry
Nicola is composed and reflective as she recalls when her son went missing.
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son → recall → ?
He had just turned 23 and within months would become a dad.
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He → turn → months
She says her son would be forever in her thoughts, but adds: "I've given myself closure; my son is dead."
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son → say → closure
She spoke to the BBC after what would have been Corrie's 33rd birthday and ahead of the 10th anniversary of his disappearance.
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what → speak → disappearance
She says she last saw her son when she went for a birthday meal with him at Cheers in Bury St Edmunds, adding he was a "social hand grenade" who "really did live every moment at a hundred miles an hour".
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who → say → miles
A decade on, she says there is "never an end" to losing somebody but it is about "managing each day".
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it → say → day
'The anniversary is difficult but we try to be positive'
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we → try → ?
"Every time I drive up a road, as I'm driving I still look at the verges, I can't stop myself," says Nicola.
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Nicola → drive → myself
"The anniversary is difficult, but we will still try to be positive about it and the universe makes us remember it and generally in a really nice way.
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us → try → way
"We are fine, but that is a conscious, deliberate effort to be fine because it would be a disservice to his memory if we just shut down and didn't make the best of our lives.
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we → shut → lives
"In every single way that you can think, there is not one day, one decision, that doesn't go by without Corrie being at the forefront of it," she adds.
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she → think → it
Airman Corrie, who was based at RAF Honington in Suffolk, had enjoyed a night out drinking when he was thrown out of a nightclub and became separated from his friends.
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he → base → friends
He then went to buy burgers, a kebab and chips, with CCTV captured at 01:20 BST showing him clutching a takeaway as he staggered through the town.
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he → go → town
After sleeping in a shop doorway for an hour, Corrie disappeared from the view of cameras on Brentgovel Street at 03:25 into an area known as the Horseshoe.
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Corrie → sleep → Horseshoe
He was never seen again.
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He → see → ?
What followed was a huge search and rescue mission, which cost Suffolk Police more than £2m, captivated the country and fuelled conspiracy theorists.
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which → follow → theorists
It culminated in the excavation of a landfill site at Milton, Cambridgeshire, which lasted several months but found nothing.
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which → culminate → nothing
On 22 March 2022, after nearly six years of speculation, inquest jurors provided an explanation for Corrie's disappearance.
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jurors → provide → disappearance
Delivering a narrative conclusion they said he died at about 04:20 BST as a result of "compression asphyxia in association with multiple injuries".
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he → deliver → injuries
These injuries, they ruled, were suffered after Corrie, from Dunfermline, Fife, had climbed into a commercial waste bin - something he had used before as somewhere to sleep - before it was tipped into a refuse truck.
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it → rule → truck
During the inquest, Suffolk Coroner's Court heard that 30 tonnes of force was exerted during each compaction cycle in the back of a bin lorry and so the chances of someone surviving were "slim".
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someone → hear → lorry
We have a mini Corrie to remind us of him'
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We → have → him
While Nicola, a former Police Scotland sergeant, accepts the final judgement, she says only she could truly decide when she could achieve a sense of closure.
uncertain
she → accept → closure
"No one thing externally can give me closure.
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thing → give → closure
The only thing that can give me closure is myself saying, have I done everything I can?" she says.
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she → give → everything
"We definitely did all we could and I can honestly sleep at night knowing there was nothing I physically could have done any different."
uncertain
I → sleep → night
Corrie's nine-year-old daughter Ellie, who was born nine months after he went missing, has also been a blessing, Nicola says.
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Nicola → bear → ?
She adds her son lives on through her "lovely, happy and well-behaved" granddaughter.
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son → add → granddaughter
"She's just like her dad, it's frightening; she looks so much like him, she's got his mannerisms, she's adorable, athletic, sporty," she says.
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she → look → mannerisms
"It's so lovely having a little mini Corrie to remind us of him, she is the very best of him, and she's a very lucky little girl, in some respects, with the family that she's got.
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she → have → that
"It is fantastic having Ellie in our lives - it genuinely is just a little bit of Corrie."
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it → have → Corrie
Nicola says Corrie's family are doing "so many little things" to ensure Ellie is constantly reminded of her dad in the best and most "positive way".
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Ellie → say → way
They include going to the Cenotaph in London on Remembrance Day every year and enjoying her dad's favourite activities, such as going to watch Wicked the Musical.
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They → include → Wicked
One day, Nicola adds, Ellie will be presented with a special gift that once belonged to her car-loving dad Corrie.
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that → add → dad
"[Corrie's brother] Darroch got his MG car that was on the base and spent a lot of time trying to get the car back on the road again," adds Nicola, who lives in Scotland.
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who → get → Scotland
"The car is going to Ellie - whether it will still be running when she can drive, I do not know, but she's going to be the one that has his car.
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that → go → car
…and 20 more, not listed.
The Aporia
