It was midway through my breakfast burrito that I became aware the stranger across a communal table was staring at me, panting.
asserted
stranger → become → me
His red-rimmed eyes were fixed, unblinking as drool yo-yoed from his open mouth.
asserted
drool → yoe → mouth
As the slobber pooled on the table we were sharing, he bared his pointed teeth and let out a low growl.
asserted
he → pool → growl
We were at Preston Market, just metres past one of many “No Dogs” signs that are spread throughout the “pet-free” venue.
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that → spread → venue
I don’t care that people bring their dogs to the market, especially considering it’s semi-open air.
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it → care → market
I don’t care that pubs and cafes welcome pups into beer gardens and outdoor gardens.
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pubs → care → gardens
In general, I like dogs.
asserted
I → like → dogs
But I do object most strenuously to sharing a table with a slavering monstrosity that probably rolls in its own poop.
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that → object → poop
And I do object to dogs being allowed inside venues where food is prepared and served or, in the case of another dog I ran into at a butcher shop last weekend, sold.
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I → object → shop
But it appears I am fighting a losing battle.
asserted
I → appear → battle
On Thursday, the Labor government promised to amend a 1984 ban on dogs in pubs as part of a shake-up of hospitality regulations.
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government → promise → regulations
Some praised the change as a win for social connection that had apparently been woefully absent for some 42 years.
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that → praise → years
Others said it would be good for business.
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it → say → business
I’m left wondering whether I’ll be safe from dogs and their slobber anywhere at all.
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I → leave → dogs
No one likes to think their beloved pet is unhygienic.
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pet → like → ?
I should know because every day as I battle chronic hay fever, I tell myself that my house filled with cat fur is not the cause.
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house → know → fur
To us pet owners, our cats and dogs are perfect, clean creatures who do no wrong, even when they kick litter around the bathroom, or dig another hole in the garden.
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they → do → garden
We accept the scooping of poop and slobbery dog kisses, because we love our pets.
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we → accept → pets
But that doesn’t mean the rest of the world feels the same way.
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rest → mean → world
Call me a cat lover but dogs owners especially seem to forget this, thinking instead that their furry friend makes the perfect addition to any space they’d like to visit, from ice cream shops to workplaces.
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they → call → workplaces
When I was aged about six, I witnessed a dog viciously bite my dad as he tried to ask the owner to restrain it near my elderly nanna.
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he → age → nanna
My fear was paralysing to the extent that I had to be carried away, crying, from a Maltese shih tzu when I was 10.
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I → paralyse → tzu
For years I would cower as people allowed their off-leash dogs to jump up and greet me in public, while the owners shouted from afar that they were friendly.
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they → cower → public
Severe fear of dogs, or cynophobia, is not rare, affecting an estimated one in 20 Australians.
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fear → affect → Australians
And it’s common for these individuals to avoid parks, beaches and public spaces where dogs might be allowed off-leash.
uncertain
dogs → ’ → leash
It might add pubs to their list of dangerous dog places.
uncertain
It → add → places
People, especially children, have all kinds of fears and phobias, and I acknowledge it’s not practical to cater to everyone’s needs and desires.
asserted
it → have → needs
But that doesn’t mean dog owners are entitled to act like their pets deserve entry into every shop they desire to attend, regardless of how those around them might feel.
uncertain
those → mean → them
My level of doggy discomfort is not high enough that I will avoid a pub that allows them in.
asserted
that → avoid → them
But I still won’t be keen to stare across the table at their drool while I’m eating my parma and chips.
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I → stare → parma
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that → challenge → own
The Aporia
