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It was a gut-feel approach to a gut punch that has left AFL fans baffled by the entire circus that surrounded it.
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that → leave → it
Brisbane Lions superstar Lachie Neale is indeed free to play in the grand final tomorrow after successfully arguing that his impeccable character was enough to forego tribunal precedence.
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character → play → precedence
But by the end of the whole drawn-out saga, the AFL's case against Neale was part Balogun, part popgun, and part Raygun in its absurdity and futility.
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case → draw → absurdity
Part Balogun in that fans could be forgiven for once again tasting that hint of bitterness in their mouths that accompanied FIFA's decision to allow US striker Folarin Balogun to play a knockout match despite being handed a red card in the previous game.
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Balogun → forgive → game
Part popgun in that the AFL's approach all season of stamping out behind-the-ball gut punches with an instant one-week suspension ended with a whimper when it mattered most.
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it → stamp → whimper
And part Raygun in that they all flailed around indiscriminately in front of a captivated audience, who couldn't decide whether what they were watching was actually kind of brilliant in its blinding nonsense.
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watching → flail → nonsense
This was a decision that nobody saw coming, but one that everyone still somehow suspected might arrive.
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everyone → see → ?
To compare it to the Balogun decision, where US President Donald Trump made a direct phone call to FIFA boss Gianni Infantino, is potentially unfair, yet the comparisons will, and have, come.
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comparisons → compare → Infantino
This was not a sneaky phone call, or a threat, or a back-scratching exercise that so often permeates the world of sport, but a cartoonish widening of the eyes and a dimpling of the cheeks accompanied by an innocent, "Who, me?"
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that → scratch → me
Using a precedent set earlier in the season when the AFL allowed Scott Pendlebury to escape with a fine for a usually suspendable offence via a "compelling and exceptional circumstances" provision, Neale's team argued that the 320-gamer was just as worthy as the Collingwood veteran for the same provision.
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gamer → use → provision
In Pendlebury's case, he was on the verge of becoming the most-capped AFL player in history, had never come close to a suspension, and was fronting the tribunal for an incident that happened in play and was deemed careless rather than deliberate.
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that → become → play
In Neale's case, he had played 100 fewer games than Pendlebury, was fronting the tribunal for an incident that was clearly deliberate and behind the play, and crucially, had been fined on three prior occasions for striking the body of an opponent off the ball.
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that → play → ball
To compare the two and conclude that Neale's case was on par with Pendlebury's is the decision that will most baffle fans, and open doors to veterans in future seasons to argue that their records need only compare to Neale's for them to all receive the "good bloke" discount when push comes to gut punch.
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push → compare → punch
Meanwhile, the nine players who were suspended this year for similar actions to Neale's must question whether the AFL is as serious about body strikes as it says it is, or is only serious about it when the players don't have a couple of Brownlow Medals to their name and a grand final to play in on the weekend.
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players → suspend → weekend
Make no mistake though, this is not a decision that comes with a bona fide outrage guarantee.
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that → make → guarantee
In an ABC Sport poll accompanying yesterday's live blog of the appeal, 42 per cent of the 47,000 respondents said they believed Neale should be free to play.
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Neale → accompany → respondents
Footy legends from Matthew Richardson to Tony Shaw bemoaned the idea that a footballer could miss out on a grand final for a whack that in yesteryear would be considered a bit of a rib tickler, a gentle reminder to an opponent to stay out of your way and stop being a goose.
But 2026 is not yesteryear, and the AFL decided long ago that striking a player to the body behind play was not something that it would stand for.
Neale knew this, and did it anyway.
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Neale → bemoan → it
Yet he will lace up the boots and run out onto the MCG tomorrow after the AFL flipped and flopped, turned and tumbled, and kangaroo-bounced its way to a decision that has left at least half of the AFL world with its collective mouth agape, questioning whether what they just witnessed was real.
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witnessed → lace → what
The Fremantle players standing across from Neale tomorrow will likely be torn as they attempt to win their club's first flag in 31 years of existence.
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they → stand → existence
On the one hand, not having Neale out there would have been a major leg up.
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having → have → Neale
On the other hand, they surely want to claim the premiership knowing they beat the Lions at their very best.
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they → want → best
A Fremantle victory now becomes the most palatable result for the AFL.
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victory → become → AFL
Because if the Lions win a close one, and Neale goes on to star as he is wont to do, that victory will leave a sour taste in the mouths of those who believe the AFL should have stuck to its guns.
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AFL → win → guns
And for long-suffering Dockers fans, that prospect would be the greatest gut punch of all.
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prospect → suffer → all
The Aporia
