- Published
You pick up the bill for dinner, pay for the taxi home or grab a friend's coffee with the promise they'll pay you back later, but days go by and the money never arrives.
asserted
money → pick → you
At what point do you ask them for it again and how small is too small to chase?
asserted
you → ask → it
For some, $5 (£3.70) is worth a reminder, while for others, asking a friend to repay anything under $20 (£15) feels more awkward than simply taking the hit.
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asking → ask → hit
Henry Payne says he's "sent a request for $8.50, but I wouldn't go lower than $8".
asserted
I → say → 8
The 21-year-old New Yorker adds that he will chase someone once but "two requests is insane".
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requests → add → someone
"I would rather swallow the $8.50 than send another request."
asserted
I → swallow → request
He does admit that he's sometimes the person on the other side of the transaction and can be forgetful himself.
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he → admit → transaction
"For everyone that I haven't sent back money to, I just forgot, feel free to double request me."
asserted
I → send → me
Kaz Jahanbini, 19, says needing to ask to be paid back in the first place can be frustrating.
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needing → say → place
"If someone bought me something, I'm immediately paying them back.
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I → buy → them
So then I'm thinking for them, what's the delay?"
asserted
delay → think → them
His rule for navigating friendship and finances is to "keep your wallet close but your friends closer".
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friends → navigate → wallet
His friend Nouria agrees and says as a student "every extra dollar counts" but she would usually only ask for money back from a friend if it was more than $10.
asserted
it → agree → friend
A recent study, external found that 76% of Gen Z who have fronted money for a group expense, like a trip or event, say they were not fully repaid, and 55% say it created tension or negatively affected a relationship.
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it → find → relationship
For British student Betsie Brooke-Taylor, 19, the threshold to ask for money back is a fiver as she says "every little helps".
asserted
little → ask → money
She sees a cultural difference between the UK and US and even though "we are all broke, I think Americans are a bit more generous".
asserted
Americans → see → UK
Betsie also thinks technology makes settling small debts easier in the US, where payment apps such as Venmo are widely used.
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apps → think → Venmo
Venmo lets users send and request money through an app which includes the function of sending a reminder if someone hasn't paid you.
asserted
someone → let → you
In the US, more than 95 million people have a Venmo account, external.
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people → have → account
"In the UK you have to ask for the account number and sort code, and not everyone has that on hand," she says.
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she → have → hand
For 19-year-old Annika Violet, the amount she would ask back from a friend depends on whether she's consistently paying for them.
asserted
she → ask → them
"I prefer to do something where I get them this time and they get me next time but if I'm consistently paying and you're not, then I will request the $5."
asserted
I → prefer → 5
Unlike many, Annika doesn't find money conversations uncomfortable.
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conversations → find → many
"I am so confrontational, I do not find it awkward.
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it → find → ?
If you're my friend, you would pay me back."
asserted
you → pay → me
Annika's friend Hanako Stepper says she finds it awkward asking for money but wishes she didn't.
"
asserted
she → say → money
I've never chased anyone - I'm just sad if I don't get paid back."
asserted
I → chase → anyone
Annika's advice to those who do struggle to ask is to "be brave and bold".
asserted
who → struggle → those
"If they are going to give you flak about it, maybe it's a sign they are not a good friend.
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they → go → it
"
How do you ask for money back without making it awkward?
asserted
it → ask → money
Money expert Laura Pomfret says many people feel embarrassed about asking to be paid back, and Britons in particular can find it awkward.
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it → say → ?
"We're often very British about asking for money back," she says, suggesting people may be worried about being judged as a "cheapskate".
uncertain
people → ask → cheapskate
Her top tips for asking friends to pay up are:
asserted
tips → ask → friends
She adds that you shouldn't convince yourself that a debt is too small to justify asking for it as "if you want the money paid back then the amount shouldn't matter".
asserted
amount → add → it
And if the same friend repeatedly fails to pay, Pomfret suggests remembering it the next time you're about to pay for them and think twice.
uncertain
you → fail → them
Several people the BBC spoke to said the amount itself mattered less when somebody repeatedly failed to pay.
New York student Ella Feuille, 21, says $15 is roughly the point at which she would consider requesting money.
If a significant amount was owed, Ella says she would ask around three times before giving up but wouldn't necessarily forget about it.
"
asserted
she → speak → it
I have friends who I know now it has to go on their card because they're not going to pay me back."
asserted
they → have → me
Her friend Katrina Dimingot agrees and says she much prefers a method where "we don't pay each other back, we just take it in turns to get things for each other".
asserted
we → agree → other
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