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Caleb Flynn's mistress read out a series of chilling messages in court that reveals how the former American Idol contestant faced an agonizing choice before his wife was killed - his lover or his own daughters.
asserted
wife → see → lover
Alleigha Botner, 24, told jurors about the ultimatums she issued the married father during their affair, warning him that leaving his wife could mean seeing his daughters less.
uncertain
leaving → tell → daughters
'The only way is having your girls half the time,' Botner wrote in one message.
asserted
Botner → have → message
In another, she told him: 'If you want your girls full freakin' time, you can never have me ever again and you have chosen that so I have to release you and let you go.'
asserted
you → tell → you
Prosecutors allege Flynn ultimately made his choice: Botner over the family life he had built with his wife Ashley and their two pre-teen daughters.
asserted
he → allege → wife
Caleb Flynn, 40, is on trial for allegedly shooting his 37-year-old wife twice in the back of the head while she slept inside their Tipp City, Ohio, home on February 16.
uncertain
she → shoot → February
Prosecutors claim the former reality-show contestant and music pastor then staged the house to resemble a break-in and blamed Ashley's murder on a mystery intruder.
uncertain
contestant → claim → intruder
Alleigha Botner, 24, testified she repeatedly pushed Flynn to leave his wife, while Flynn allegedly told her he was willing to sacrifice his daughters, lucrative job and reputation to be with her
Flynn, 40, is accused of murdering his wife Ashley after prosecutors say his secret relationship with Botner became increasingly intense; he has pleaded not guilty
Flynn has pleaded not guilty and insists he was sleeping in another room with the couple's daughters when an intruder killed his wife.
His defense maintains investigators rushed to judgment and that lurid publicity surrounding his affair has distorted the evidence against him.
uncertain
publicity → testify → him
But prosecutors have repeatedly returned to Flynn's relationship with Botner as they seek to establish a motive for the killing.
asserted
they → return → killing
Jurors heard that the lovers exchanged more than 100,000 messages during an affair lasting roughly 18 months.
asserted
lovers → hear → affair
In one September 2025 message, Flynn himself listed what he was prepared to sacrifice to be with his mistress - and put his daughters first.
asserted
he → list → daughters
He said he was willing to risk his 'daughters, a quarter-million-dollar salary job, a place to live, possibly a church I serve at, public shame and humiliation, and way more.
uncertain
I → say → daughters
'
Botner, meanwhile, repeatedly demanded that he leave Ashley.
asserted
he → demand → Ashley
'Until she's gone, I'm gone,' she wrote in one ultimatum.
asserted
she → go → ultimatum
Botner told Flynn that being with her could mean having his daughters only half the time, effectively confronting him with the reality that he would have to split his time between his children and a future with her
Caleb
uncertain
he → tell → her
Flynn is facing charges of murder relating to the fatal shooting of his wife Ashley, left
But under questioning from Flynn's defense, Botner insisted the ominous language was about ending the marriage.
asserted
language → face → marriage
'I always meant divorce,' she testified.
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she → mean → divorce
Such distinction has become critical after jurors were shown a string of far darker conversations between the lovers about Ashley.
asserted
jurors → become → Ashley
Botner broke down in tears as she was forced to read one exchange aloud.
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she → break → exchange
'Do you know how badly I want to say, "F it" to any rules and any barriers and just love you with my entire heart for the rest of my life,' she wrote to Flynn in July 2025.
asserted
she → know → July
Then came the chilling admission: 'I want to kill her, Caleb.
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I → come → her
Flynn replied: 'That makes two of us.'
'I just wish I didn't say this,' Botner told the courtroom through tears.
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Botner → reply → tears
'I didn't mean it.'
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I → mean → it
Another exchange showed Flynn allegedly telling Botner: 'Please hire someone to take douche out.
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Flynn → show → douche
I need you,' using a derogatory nickname they had given Ashley.
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they → need → Ashley
'So tempting,' Botner responded.
asserted
Botner → respond → ?
Flynn allegedly told his mistress in August that he had spent much of the night contemplating how Ashley could be killed without him ending up behind bars.
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him → tell → bars
Flynn has pleaded not guilty to the charges and insists that a home intruder killed his wife while he slept in a room just feet away with the pair's two pre-teen daughters
'
asserted
he → plead → daughters
I was up until 4am last night crying, literally thinking of ways to kill her and not go to jail,' he wrote.
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he → cry → jail
Botner responded by explicitly telling him not to kill Ashley.
asserted
Botner → respond → Ashley
'I'm not asking that you take her life, obviously, because that's not what you should do, and I know you actually wouldn't,' she wrote.
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she → ask → what
'But to make the divorce happen, it would change everything.'
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it → make → everything
Flynn responded: 'I'll work on getting rid of her.
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I → respond → her
Until then, I love you.
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I → love → you
Botner testified she was just 20 when she met Flynn at Christian Life Center in Dayton in 2022, where she was an intern and he was in his mid-30s.
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he → testify → mid-30s
Their relationship became romantic in early 2024, she said.
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she → become → 2024
By the night before Ashley's death, prosecutors say the secret relationship was reaching a decisive moment.
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relationship → say → moment
Botner sent Flynn information she had researched about divorce proceedings, custody, deleting messages and how Ashley could potentially prove her husband's infidelity.
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Ashley → send → infidelity
Shortly before midnight, Flynn sent his mistress one final message.
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Flynn → send → message
I've got to get to bed,’ he wrote.
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he → get → bed
…and 21 more, not listed.
The Aporia
