'Nightcaps' is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk.
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you → catch → desk
It runs Monday-Friday on OutKick.com.
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It → run → OutKick.com
I had to double-check it, but it's true.
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it → have → it
Weren't we just grilling burgers on Labor Day Monday?
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we → grill → Monday
What happened here?
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What → happen → ?
October is, objectively speaking, the best month of the entire year.
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October → speak → year
Hockey starts back up.
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Hockey → start → ?
It's what I hope heaven is like.
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heaven → hope → what
On that note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps — the one where Kristin Juszczyk teams up with her 49ers husband, Kyle, to send a stern message to Roger Goodell and the No Fun League (NFL).
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Juszczyk → welcome → Goodell
What a stunt they pulled earlier this week.
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they → pull → stunt
They have absolutely no shame.
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They → have → shame
You'll see.
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You → see → ?
What else should we hit on today before we leave early because it's a Football Friday and there are five (!!!) college football games today?
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it → hit → What
I've got NFL on CBS sideline reporter Melanie Collins checking in before Week 3, Al Michaels didn't have the greatest night in the booth last night, and Wyndham Clark wasn't a fan of the ... fans ... at the Presidents Cup in Thursday's opening round.
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Clark → get → round
I don't blame him, by the way.
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I → blame → way
But also, this event ain't exactly the Ryder Cup.
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event → be → ?
Kristin Juszczyk takes the $15k fine in stride
We ended yesterday's class with the dumbest story in the NFL ... maybe ever?
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We → take → NFL
For those who missed it, Roger Goodell's Fun Police fined 49ers FB Kyle Juszczyk a whopping $14,926 for celebrating a touchdown by giving the universal symbol of taking a drink.
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Police → miss → drink
The league took it as Juszczyk "chugging a beer," according to the letter sent to Juszczyk.
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Juszczyk → take → Juszczyk
That violates Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1, which, frankly, sounds like the dumbest rule of all time.
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which → violate → time
Anyway, the Niners star has been doing that celebration for years, and it has nothing to do with beer.
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it → do → beer
He barely drinks beer.
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He → drink → beer
By the way, as OutKick's Armando Salguero noted, Juszczyk scored the tuddy, did his VERY BAD celebration, and then the first commercial that appeared when FOX went to break?
A Michelob Ultra ad.
Amazing.
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FOX → note → ad
We all caught up now?
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We → catch → ?
Now, let's check in with Kyle's wife, Kristin, who had her husband join her for an Instagram message to the league:
Does anyone care about the Presidents Cup?
"Kyle’s got a drinking problem," the caption says, followed by the little nod to the league with the text in the video that reads, "$14,926 glass of juice.
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that → check → juice
You can't celebrate.
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You → celebrate → ?
You can't taunt.
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You → taunt → ?
You can't hit the QB.
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You → hit → QB
You can't touch the receiver.
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You → touch → receiver
God forbid you jump on the goal posts after you score a touchdown.
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you → forbid → touchdown
Especially when all the league promotes is drinking and gambling.
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league → promote → ?
And Jason Kelce hosting a football party, of course.
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Kelce → host → course
It pays to have an influencer wife, you know?
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you → pay → wife
That works!
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That → work → ?
OK, let's move this class along and check in with Wyndham Clark and Team USA:
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's → let → Clark
I felt like the momentum could have been better, to be honest, because we weren’t really feeling the fans, I think, as much as normal.
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I → feel → fans
There was a few shots — I mean, Collin hit a 5-wood on, what was it, 11 to like 10 feet, and we didn’t even know if it was on the green because no one clapped.
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one → be → green
I don't love Wyndham Clark, but it's tough to argue with him here.
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it → love → him
I said it on Monday ...
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I → say → Monday
I had NO idea the Presidents Cup was this week.
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Cup → have → idea
…and 19 more, not listed.
The Aporia
