I have a group of friends who get together once a month, usually for a casual dinner.
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who → have → dinner
Next month’s gathering will be to celebrate three birthdays, one of which is mine.
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one → celebrate → which
While planning this gathering (via text), I asked if we could skip exchanging presents and just enjoy our time together.
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we → plan → time
The response from my friends was “No! We’re doing presents.”
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We → do → presents
I know their intention is good; these are very generous friends.
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these → know → ?
But I’m working only part time and have to pay for my health insurance out of pocket.
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I → work → pocket
They said I don’t need to get them presents, but they will be getting me presents, so naturally I feel the pressure to reciprocate.
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I → say → pressure
While I’m not the most creative person, I could get away with making them something, but I’m also a bit put off.
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I → ’m → something
Shouldn’t my wishes have been respected since it’s my birthday?
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it → respect → ?
Your friends understand why you don’t want to exchange gifts, and they want to give you something anyway.
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they → understand → something
They aren’t doing it to pressure you; they’re doing it out of love.
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they → do → love
If giving them a handcrafted item would help you feel better, that’s fine, but please don’t feel disrespected by their generosity.
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that → give → generosity
My husband of two years and I are opposites when it comes to planning.
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it → come → planning
He’s spontaneous and acts on the spur of the moment.
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He → ’ → moment
I’m the type who plans everything down to the last nanosecond (slight exaggeration).
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who → ’m → nanosecond
Everything came to a head last Saturday when he suddenly decided to start a household project at 5 p.m.
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he → come → 5
We were supposed to meet another couple for an evening out at 7.
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We → suppose → 7
When he started the project, I reminded him of our date and asked him to let the other couple know that something had come up and we wouldn’t make it.
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we → start → it
I thought he had taken care of it until they texted me at 7:15 wanting to know where we were.
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we → think → 7:15
I texted back, “Been delayed, on my way.”
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I → texte → way
I dressed hurriedly, put on makeup in the car, broke all speed records and arrived there about 45 minutes late.
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I → dress → records
I made excuses for him, knowing he has done this to them before.
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he → make → them
We were halfway through the meal when he showed up, wearing the same “work around the house” clothes from earlier.
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he → show → clothes
(I was surprised the hostess even seated him.)
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hostess → seat → him
I was embarrassed, the other couple was understandably peeved, and I have had it with his inconsiderate behavior!
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I → embarrass → behavior
If your husband doesn’t know what a faux pas he committed by leaving the other couple hanging, tell him.
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he → know → him
Because you know he is forgetful, you should have kept asking him if he had made the call, or you could have done it yourself.
uncertain
you → know → it
I think your biggest mistake was trying to cover for him by fibbing.
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mistake → think → fibbing
In the future, make sure you arrive promptly.
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you → make → future
Let him do his own explaining, make his own apologies and experience the fallout.
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him → let → fallout
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren.
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Abby → write → Buren
For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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which → pen → mother
The Aporia
