Albo's no-show
Albo has finally discovered a sporting occasion he is happy to miss.
asserted
he → discover → occasion
The PM skipped yesterday's AFL grand final, with the excuse that he only arrived home from overseas that very morning.
asserted
he → skip → overseas
The game, of course, was played in the afternoon.
asserted
game → play → afternoon
For a politician whose enthusiasm for a camera, a sporting crowd and corporate hospitality rarely requires encouragement, the timing is remarkably convenient.
asserted
timing → require → encouragement
Especially given that his taxpayer-funded Commonwealth plane includes its own bedroom with ensuite, giving Albo ample opportunity to spruce himself up before seeing his favourite pop music icon (plus the footy).
asserted
plane → give → icon
Kylie Minogue provided the pre-game entertainment, and therein lies the real reason behind Albo's no-show.
asserted
reason → provide → show
Yes, the same Kylie he dragged into that disgraceful podcast discussion about who he would like to 'shag'.
asserted
he → drag → who
The internationally successful Australian woman whose achievements somehow became an opportunity for the PM to demonstrate the conversational sophistication of an adolescent.
asserted
PM → become → adolescent
And let's not forget in the same podcast he discussed the melons given to him by Japan's first female PM, replete with hand gestures mimicking breasts.
asserted
he → let → breasts
Ironically, Albo's overseas trip that gave him the excuse to avoid the MCG yesterday included collecting an award as a good 'global citizen'.
asserted
that → give → citizen
Back in July, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said he would 'shag' Kylie Minogue when he was interviewed on the Bush Deep podcast
That controversy is precisely why he skipped the AFL grand final.
asserted
he → say → final
(Kylie Minogue is pictured performing before the Fremantle v Brisbane game on Saturday afternoon)
asserted
Minogue → picture → afternoon
Albanese returned to Australia on Saturday after attending the United Nations General Assembly in New York, having collected a good 'global citizen' award
Now consider the television pictures his attendance could have produced.
uncertain
attendance → return → pictures
Albo enthusiastically applauding Kylie would have invited an immediate replay of his remarks.
asserted
applauding → applaud → remarks
Attending the game yet being conspicuously absent during her performance, downing canapés behind the frosted glass of his corporate hospitality, would have invited questions about why he 'snubbed' Kylie's pre-game show.
asserted
he → attend → show
Missing the entire occasion neatly avoided both.
asserted
Missing → miss → both
An education for the Opposition
The Opposition recently unveiled its plans, if elected, to reform how our children are taught.
asserted
children → unveil → plans
It wants them to learn more history, but perhaps the Coalition needs to first be reminded of some of its own failed history.
asserted
Coalition → want → history
Shadow Education spokesman, Julian Leeser, is promising to rewrite the national curriculum, impose stronger classroom discipline, with less screen time and greater emphasis on the foundations of Western culture.
asserted
Leeser → promise → culture
Some of what they want to do makes sense.
asserted
they → want → sense
But before we get bogged down in another argument about flags and identity, there is a question the Coalition needs to answer: What the hell was it doing when it was in government?
asserted
it → bogge → government
The Liberals and Nationals held federal office for almost nine years between 2013 and 2022.
asserted
Liberals → hold → 2013
Before that, interrupted by a mere six years during the Rudd-Gillard period, John Howard governed for nearly 12 years.
asserted
Howard → interrupt → years
Shadow Education spokesman, Julian Leeser (pictured), is promising to rewrite the national curriculum, impose stronger classroom discipline, with less screen time and greater emphasis on the foundations of Western culture
I'm no mathematical savant, but roughly 20 years in power across the 26 years that preceded Anthony Albanese's election is a reasonable amount of time to have shaped Australia's education system.
asserted
that → picture → system
Unless the Coalition dropped the ball during that time?
asserted
Coalition → drop → time
The Liberals and Nationals haven't exactly been political outsiders powerless to influence the country's direction over the last quarter of a century.
asserted
Liberals → influence → century
Which, by the way, is precisely why they are suffering at the hands of One Nation.
asserted
they → suffer → Nation
They've had many chances.
asserted
They → have → chances
Yet listen to the latest diagnosis of what's wrong within our schools, and you could imagine the Coalition had spent its time peering helplessly through the school gates.
uncertain
Coalition → listen → gates
Leeser describes declining academic performance, disengaged boys, disrupted classrooms and teacher shortages, despite ever-increasing expenditure.
asserted
Leeser → describe → expenditure
But describing them as longstanding failures makes the Coalition's own record the real issue here.
asserted
record → describe → failures
Children who began primary school when Tony Abbott became PM in 2013 were in secondary school by the time Scott Morrison lost office in 2022.
asserted
Morrison → begin → 2022
For much of their education, the federal government belonged to the party now offering to rescue them from the poor results.
asserted
government → belong → results
It gets richer when you realise Leeser spent much of his pre-parliamentary career advising the federal Liberal Party on policy - first as an adviser within the Howard government, before heading up the Liberal Party's official think tank, The Menzies Research Centre.
asserted
Leeser → get → tank
During that time he produced precisely zero policy proposals on how to improve teaching within our schools.
asserted
he → produce → schools
I don't object to a political party developing better policies.
asserted
party → object → policies
Opposition is supposed to be a period of reflection and renewal.
asserted
Opposition → suppose → reflection
What I object to is renewal without the reflection: the implication that identifying an enduring problem somehow absolves you of responsibility for having presided over it in the first place.
asserted
identifying → object → place
But it's certainly a Coalition failure given their time in office this millennium versus Labor.
asserted
it → give → Labor
As education minister, Christopher Pyne commissioned a national curriculum review in 2014.
asserted
Pyne → commission → 2014
…and 36 more, not listed.
The Aporia
