Not since the Adelaide Crows faux tough guy power stance, staring down Richmond with forced bravado, has a grand final gimmick rebounded so catastrophically.
asserted
gimmick → star → bravado
The Power stance – dubbed Power Rangers stance by Alex Rance who was, shall we say, unmoved by the sight of the line of muscular Crowbots – was about as staunch as Adelaide got for the day.
asserted
Adelaide → dub → day
Adelaide fans, and ex-players, still wince at the very mention of the term.
asserted
fans → wince → term
Wharfie Time must go the way of the power stance, consigned like the Batmobile at Waverley (vale, Angry) and Meatloaf to the annals of grand final regrets.
asserted
Time → go → regrets
There will be Fremantle fans – and players – who in years to come will hear the first bars of Hells Bells at a party, or walking the aisles of Bunnings, and they will be like the punch drunk boxer who hears a tram’s bell ring and starts shadowboxing.
asserted
who → come → ring
They will drop and curl into the foetal position, reaching for an imaginary doona to pull over their heads.
asserted
They → drop → heads
The reason it has to go is not that it was the reason the Dockers lost, but because it might have been.
uncertain
it → have → ?
It sort of doesn’t matter because the possibility that it might have played a part in inspiring Brisbane’s comeback is enough to say: marketing be damned, get out of the way.
uncertain
marketing → matter → way
Can you imagine next season when the Dockers ring the bell for Wharfie Time?
asserted
Dockers → imagine → Time
What is the first memory to jump into every player’s mind?
asserted
memory → jump → mind
I think this term for this is triggering.
asserted
term → think → this
The psychology of the use of the bells has now not only lost its intended impact – positive thinking and grit to dig in – it now inspires precisely the opposite emotion for any player or fan who heard it.
asserted
who → lose → it
This might feel like it is imbuing a marketing – sorry, in-game entertainment fan experience innovation – sideshow with too much importance, when losing Alex Pearce was more consequential to the result.
uncertain
losing → feel → result
But it is impossible to divorce the timing of Brisbane’s comeback from the chiming of the bells.
asserted
it → divorce → bells
To be fair, at the time it was great theatre in the ground (and on TV, given the bells tolled just as the broadcast returned from an ad break; funny that).
asserted
broadcast → give → break
The bells tolled, the expectant purple crowd were delirious.
asserted
crowd → toll → ?
As theatre, it became tragicomic within four minutes.
asserted
it → become → minutes
It was no doubt intended to be the bell to herald the team putting the proverbial foot on the throat and to move in to finish the job.
asserted
It → intend → job
Instead, it sounded like triumphalism and celebration of a job already done.
asserted
it → sound → job
Just as Freo fans had been waiting for the chiming of the bells so, it turned out, were the Brisbane players.
asserted
players → wait → bells
They had trained for it.
asserted
They → train → it
Chris Fagan played down the significance of this, but his players didn’t.
asserted
players → play → this
Many of them in the rooms said they knew that if they heard that sound they had to meet fire with fire.
asserted
they → say → fire
It was their trigger to come back harder.
asserted
It → come → ?
So the bell has to have tolled for Wharfie Time.
asserted
bell → have → Time
It’s only (four minutes to go), shut the bloody bells off.”
asserted
It → ’ → bells
One of the great grannies
Last week we pondered whether the preliminary final was the greatest final, and therefore one of the greatest games played.
asserted
final → ponder → games
Putting aside hyperbole and recency bias it was a reasonable proposition.
asserted
it → put → hyperbole
At the very least the last three finals were unlike any bracket of finals we have seen.
asserted
we → see → finals
Lost because of the quality of the last two games was the fact the Dockers’ win over Sydney was also a brilliant game of football.
asserted
win → lose → football
Sydney, undermanned, led all night before the Dockers, dare we say it, had a bit of Wharfie Time and put the game to bed.
asserted
we → lead → bed
Hawthorn fans are only now uncoiling from the foetal position, yet still gnashing teeth over umpiring decisions.
asserted
fans → uncoil → decisions
When they settle they, too, will agree that it was a game for the ages.
asserted
it → settle → ages
To then see a game – a grand final, no less – as storied as Saturday’s decided in the last minute was better again.
asserted
game → see → minute
Where Will Ashcroft played a last quarter, a last five minutes, to turn the match.
asserted
Ashcroft → play → match
Where there was Wharfie Time.
asserted
Time → be → ?
Where football’s kindly uncle, who never played the game at the level of his players, coached a third straight flag and elevated himself to greatness among coaches in possibly, probably, his last game.
uncertain
who → play → game
Where the Dockers had their Stephen Milne moment with the ball spiking away from Caleb Serong at the last stoppage and into the arms of Will Ashcroft, for him to weave away taking four bounces and providing a second goal in seconds for Logan Morris.
asserted
him → have → Morris
If the ball sits as it would 90 per cent of the time Serong takes it, punts deep inside 50 and a win – or at worst a draw – is there for the taking.
asserted
punts → sit → taking
Where the Dockers, who lost their captain and best defender yet still held out the opposition for all but one last minute, became the first team since Hawthorn in 2012 to lose despite having 10 more inside 50s than their opponent.
asserted
who → lose → opponent
…and 24 more, not listed.
The Aporia
