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It’s a question our grandparents would have answered instinctively with a certain milestone birthday - perhaps 18 or 21.
asserted
grandparents → see → birthday
Today, knowing when we’re truly ‘grown up’ and ‘in control’ of our lives is rather harder.
asserted
we → know → lives
Is it the point at which we can confidently say what day the bins go out?
asserted
bins → say → which
Perhaps it’s the moment we find ourselves putting our clothes away rather than leaving them strewn on a chair, or when – yawn! - we set up a monthly direct debit into a savings account.
asserted
we → ’ → account
Could it even be the day we realise, yes, we do have a spare set of batteries for the radio, or actually we would rather read a novel than doom-scroll on a phone.
uncertain
we → realise → phone
All of these were suggested as crucial signifiers of at last having a ‘sorted’ life in a recent survey of 2000 Brits – though rather worryingly, few thought we hit these markers of full-blown maturity before the age of 50.
uncertain
we → suggest → 50
We asked four top Mail writers, all past that critical birthday, to tell us what makes them card-carrying adults with shipshape lives – and what still doesn’t...
asserted
what → ask → lives
‘At 68, I tell off policemen, know what a round wall socket means and am no longer afraid to open a brown envelope’
By Liz Jones
Before the age of 50, I always assumed I had no future, or if I did, had no idea where it would be, writes Liz Jones (pictured)
Before the age of 50, I always assumed I had no future, or if I did, had no idea where it would be.
asserted
it → know → idea
There was never any point planting spring bulbs to make a garden because I’d never know if I’d be sticking around long enough to see their creamy heads emerge the next year.
asserted
heads → be → garden
Come April, I’d panic-buy expensive ready grown flowers.
asserted
I → buy → flowers
That was how chaotic I was, living hand-to-mouth, never saving or thinking about a pension or whether my kettle was furry, since I assumed I’d never grow old.
asserted
I → live → pension
I had the heating on 24/7, never opened any envelope that was brown and if anyone in Boots told me there was a three-to-one offer, I recoiled as if stung.
asserted
I → have → one
I might have lived in a £2m mansion, but I had no idea round sockets in walls meant your lamps were on a room’s internal lighting circuit and could all be switched on from the wall.
uncertain
lamps → live → wall
I’d never changed a plug and if anything started beeping in the ceiling, I’d call the nice man from Pimlico Plumbers.
asserted
I → change → Plumbers
I now know that this is the month to plant spring bulbs.
asserted
this → know → bulbs
I know no one will arrive to save me, so I must look after myself.
asserted
I → know → myself
I want a simpler life, so am relieved to no longer own a lawn, but I do own flower pots and bulbs and my very first packets of seeds.
asserted
I → want → seeds
And a bag of flour: who knew you could bake a cake?
uncertain
you → know → cake
I made risotto for the first time last week.
asserted
I → make → time
It’s as though all those exotic culinary mysteries, just out of reach, are mine for the taking with a little patience.
asserted
mysteries → ’ → patience
Ah, yes, I’ve learned not to rush, too, having always lived life in the fast lane.
asserted
I → learn → lane
For most of my adult life, being unable to cook was a badge of honour as if, like Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, the oven’s only function was to store sweaters.
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function → cook → sweaters
After many decades of struggling with corks, at the grand age of 67, a man told me I have to turn the bottle.
asserted
I → struggle → bottle
Again, who knew?
asserted
who → know → ?
Even drinking bubbly is easier!
asserted
drinking → drink → bubbly
I stand up for myself these days, unafraid to tell off policemen, who always look surprised and back away.
asserted
who → stand → policemen
I’m also unafraid to ask for help: I usually have two assistants with me in Lidl helping me locate things (me: ‘Putting chickpeas there makes no sense: they should be with the tinned vegetables!’) and with the self-service till.
asserted
they → ’m → till
So, yes, I now shop in Lidl rather than Wholefoods as I’ve learned nobody cares about the logo on your carrier bag.
asserted
nobody → shop → bag
Above all, I want to be comfortable.
asserted
I → want → all
This surely is the true marker of a ‘sorted’ grown-up life.
asserted
This → sort → life
I stare at my four-inch bondage Louboutins, my tummy-shaming Victoria Beckham body con and shudder that I ever put myself through that torture.
asserted
I → stare → torture
Really being in control of your life means not minding the fact you can’t always control what you look like.
asserted
you → mean → what
I own a cobweb brush and two hot water bottles and fill them at bedtime, squeezing out the steam, just as I watched my mum do.
asserted
mum → own → steam
I grew up at a time when women were taught to look down on domesticity, practicality and to think only of their careers, followed by their attractiveness to the opposite sex.
asserted
women → grow → sex
And so, we missed out on the skills that smooth our path and cost us little.
asserted
that → miss → little
Learning them late –I now know to use pressure when ironing, not to simply let it glide - thank you, BBC’s Great British Sewing Bee – has been liberating and, trust me, a great deal of fun.
asserted
it → learn → fun
‘At 59, the only thing that fazes me it putting the right bins out’
By Sarah Vine
asserted
it → faze → Vine
Being a grown-up – or ‘adulting’, as my children prefer to call it – does not come naturally to everyone.
asserted
children → adulte → everyone
I may be pushing 60, but I wouldn’t say I fully qualify, although I’m much better than I used to be, writes Sarah Vine (pictured)
uncertain
Vine → push → 60
Being a grown-up – or ‘adulting’, as my children prefer to call it – does not come naturally to everyone.
asserted
children → prefer → everyone
…and 74 more, not listed.
The Aporia
