The Breadwinner (now on Netflix) proves that being one of the most popular, arena-packing standup comics in the biz doesn’t necessarily translate to box office success.
asserted
being → prove → success
This Nate Bargatze family-friendly comedy vehicle grossed $20 million theatrically, essentially telling us that audiences were just fine Waiting Til It’s On Netflix.
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It → gross → Netflix
And now that the bar for its success is now “will it successfully distract us from laundry, the cat and/or Instagram,” let’s see if it hurdles that very low bar or just lazily trips on it.
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it → distract → it
Nate (Bargatze) is a very good car salesman — so good, he heads a single income family.
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he → head → family
That leaves Katie (Mandy Moore) to run the household and raise their three daughters, partially realized characters who can be summed up as the Horse Daughter, the Spelling Bee Daughter, and the Hormonal Daughter.
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who → leave → Daughter
Katie has a “command center” with whiteboards and calendars covered with sticky notes so the Wilcox family machine runs smoothly.
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machine → have → notes
Everything is just perfect until the little plastic thingy she invents gets her on Shark Tank, which springboards her own enterprise, prompting the ol’ switcheroo.
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which → invent → switcheroo
She’ll go to Korea for a bit to develop her product and he’ll (gulp) run things at home.
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he → go → home
So Nate looks at the “command center” like it’s in Swahili.
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it → look → Swahili
He doesn’t know where the girls’ schools are.
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schools → know → ?
And he’s so Bad At Eggs he can’t crack them, cook them or even buy them at the store without making a gigantic mess.
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he → ’ → mess
You know this scenario.
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You → know → scenario
All too well, I bet.
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I → bet → ?
And you know how it’ll play out, inevitably involving missed recitals, strained laundry-centric humor, and wild animals wrecking things.
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it → know → things
And so, to ward off the bad vibes of a movie so remarkably lazy and uninspired, I will recite an incantation consisting of all the names on corporate logos frequently featured prominently in the frame: Toyota, Nike, KFC, Wal Mart, Country Crock, Sour Patch Kids, the National Football League (specifically the Tennessee Titans).
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I → ward → frame
I might’ve missed a few dozen, but hey, I have a word count to mind here.
uncertain
I → miss → mind
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?
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It → remind → You
At least Mr. Mom worked because it wasn’t so far removed from the stereotypical gender dynamics of Leave it to Beaver.
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it → work → Beaver
Always effortlessly funny, Will Forte manages to inspire a grin or two as an incompetent roofer.
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Forte → manage → roofer
Our Take: That sound you hear is The Breadwinner, and therefore Bargatze, tripping on the low bar and landing with a whump.
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you → hear → whump
Retrogressive comedy like this isn’t inherently bad as long as it makes you laugh, but this movie doesn’t have a single original thought in its head.
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movie → make → head
A recurring gag in which Nate the Dumb Dad can’t keep up with the girls’ mountains of laundry results in one chuckle — a nightmarish shot of him being sucked into a quicksandlike pit of wet towels — and 10 other jokes that most sitcoms would toss in the reject bin.
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sitcoms → recur → bin
It’s an unfortunate microcosmic representation of the movie’s overall comedy M.O., which is to go for the easiest joke possible at every opportunity.
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which → ’ → opportunity
And so we get bits in which Nate is so bamboozled by the basics of household chores and fatherhood, he trips over the steps, falls down taking out the trash, battles an unplugged toaster, scatters uncooked spaghetti all over the kitchen, tries to get help from his lazy dad, banters with the PTA moms, develops a rivalry with another stay-at-home dad (Colin Jost), desperately shovels junk food at the kids, tangles with an antagonistic fellow car salesman (Kumail Nanjiani), gets covered with glop from a school-project volcano, etc.
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he → get → volcano
While Bargatze seems to be shooting for the highly relatable struggles of domestic suburbanites, he lands on gross approximations of human behavior and emotions.
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he → seem → behavior
At least all that product placement goes toward compensating for the deservedly meager box office.
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placement → go → office
Werner Herzog hugged him once.
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Herzog → hug → him
The Aporia
