The Aporia · An Australian army veteran and an Afghan refugee met for coffee. What happened next changed both their lives

Kat Rae, a 45-year-old Australian army veteran whose husband died by suicide in 2017, met Mursal Azizi, a 33-year-old Afghan refugee who fled Kabul after the Taliban takeover in 2021. The two artists connected over coffee in February 2025 and began collaborating on an art project called "Sparks in the Dark," which features handkerchiefs embroidered by Afghan women for each week since the Taliban took control of Kabul. Their friendship has allowed them to express shared grief and work together towards healing and positive change, highlighting the mutual understanding between veterans and refugees affected by war.

Written by AI on 2026-10-01, from this article's own text only (the story summary below draws on all the coverage).

Story summary

Kat Rae, a 45-year-old Australian army veteran who served two tours in Afghanistan and lost her husband to suicide in 2017, met Mursal Azizi, a 33-year-old Afghan refugee artist, for coffee in February 2025. Mursal fled Kabul after the Taliban took power in 2021. Despite Kat's initial concern that Afghans might resent her due to Australia’s involvement in Afghanistan, Mursal was appreciative of their connection.

Their meeting sparked a friendship based on mutual understanding and shared experiences with loss. Mursal expressed feelings of loneliness, which resonated deeply with Kat as a widow. Together, they collaborated on an art project called Sparks in the Dark, displayed at Melbourne’s Shrine of Remembrance, featuring 260 handkerchiefs embroidered by Afghan women, one for each week since the Taliban seized Kabul.

At the exhibition's opening, Kat recited "They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old" from Laurence Binyon’s poem “For The Fallen,” marking a poignant moment where Afghans in attendance openly cried over their collective loss. This project highlights both artists' commitment to addressing the collateral damage of war and supporting Afghan women through creative expression.

Written for “Refugee Veteran Connection” on 2026-11-01, grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.

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Dani Valent

11 article(s) here · 1 carrying a prediction

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🔮 I wondered if Afghans would be mad at me, feel that we’d let them down, but Mursal was just grateful.

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Kat Rae, 45, served in Afghanistan, as did her husband, who died by suicide in 2017. asserted

who → serve → 2017

Mursal Azizi, 33, came to Australia as an Afghan refugee. asserted

Azizi → come → refugee

The pair, both artists, have found a deep comfort in their friendship. asserted

pair → find → friendship

Kat: In February, 2025, a friend introduced me to Mursal. asserted

friend → introduce → Mursal

We met at a cafe in North Fitzroy and connected straight away – as artists and as people with a connection to her homeland. asserted

We → meet → homeland

She’d fled Kabul after the Taliban came to power in 2021. asserted

Taliban → flee → 2021

I was in the Australian Army for 20 years and had done two tours there. asserted

I → do → tours

I wondered if Afghans would be mad at me, feel that we’d let them down, but Mursal was just grateful. asserted

Mursal → wonder → them

The Afghans I’ve met understand loss and know we feel it, too. asserted

we → meet → it

Mursal told me she felt lonely. asserted

she → tell → me

It was painful for me to hear that. asserted

me → hear → that

As a widow, I knew that feeling. asserted

I → know → feeling

She wanted to find a way to help the women over there. asserted

She → want → women

I love people with a mission and art that makes a statement, and hate the collateral damage of war, so we started working together. asserted

we → love → war

Sparks in the Dark [showing now at Melbourne’s Shrine of Remembrance] features 260 handkerchiefs embroidered by women living in Afghanistan, one for each week since the Taliban took Kabul. asserted

Taliban → show → Kabul

At its opening, I recited the words, “They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old” [from For The Fallen, by Laurence Binyon], which we’ve been reading every Anzac Day for generations but, this time, the people weren’t silent: Afghans were crying, their grief raw. asserted

grief → recite → generations

Mursal gave me a hug and asked where I’d found those words; she said they were perfect. asserted

they → give → words

There’s an Afghan word, hamdard, which means shared grief, a shoulder-to-shoulder connectedness. asserted

which → ’ → shoulder

Australians aren’t very good at expressing grief. asserted

Australians → express → grief

They’re more like, “How can we get you back on your feet?” asserted

we → ’re → feet

Seeing how the war affected my husband, losing him, cracking open with grief … you can’t help but be empathetic to people going through something, too. asserted

you → see → something

As a sole parent in Melbourne, I find I connect more with offbeat families – migrant families, widowed families or those impacted by domestic violence. asserted

I → find → violence

And I always connected with the depth and warmth of the Afghan people. asserted

I → connect → people

I missed their openness when I came back to Australia. asserted

I → miss → Australia

She invited me round for lunch one day and it was a huge banquet; she’d been slaving away in her little kitchen – I should have blocked out the whole afternoon. asserted

I → invite → afternoon

There’s this spiced milk pudding called firni that I first tried in Kabul. asserted

I → ’ → Kabul

She knew I loved it and surprised me by cooking it for me. asserted

I → know → me

I cried: I was moved that she’d made it for the first time. asserted

she → cry → time

There’s vulnerability there, no one guiding her by saying, “Oh, next time, do it like this and, by the way, our family always adds a bit of salt.” asserted

family → ’ → salt

Making it for me is part of her fight to hang on to something that should be her birthright. asserted

that → make → something

I’m glad and proud I can be one of Mursal’s first Melbourne friends. asserted

I → ’m → friends

I love seeing her flourish as an artist and a mother. asserted

her → see → artist

I’m also grateful that my daughter and partner get to know her and her family. asserted

daughter → ’m → her

I can say to them, “How cool are these people? asserted

people → say → them

I was lonely when I was introduced to Kat. asserted

I → introduce → Kat

She had been twice in Afghanistan and is an artist, too, which made it comfortable for me to talk to her. asserted

me → make → her

As a newcomer to Australia, I feel the differences between myself and people here. asserted

I → feel → myself

They savour and enjoy life, think about entertainment; we think about survival, our challenges, how we can mitigate risks. asserted

we → savour → risks

With Kat, I felt understood: I knew she would understand what I say and who I am. asserted

I → feel → what

She told me her husband had been in Afghanistan, too, and that he suicided on August 16 [nine years ago]. asserted

he → tell → August

…and 36 more, not listed.

An Australian army veteran and an Afghan refugee met for coffee. What happened next changed both their lives

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