I have one child, a seven-year-old daughter, with my wife of 10 years.
asserted
I → have → years
I love both the women in my life very, very much.
asserted
I → love → life
I want to be part of everything they do, as a caring husband, an equal partner and an involved parent.
asserted
they → want → husband
Unfortunately, my daughter doesn’t like to include me in many of her activities.
asserted
daughter → like → activities
My wife and I have spoken about the situation, but we just don’t know what to do.
asserted
we → speak → what
For example, I’ll come home from work and they’ll be on the floor playing with her Polly Pockets.
asserted
they → come → Pockets
I’ll sit down and want to play, but my daughter will cry and tell me to go away.
asserted
daughter → sit → me
We’ll try to ask her about it, but she just cries harder until I walk away.
asserted
I → try → it
At that point, my wife and I will discuss, and then I’ll help her out by getting dinner ready or pouring my daughter’s bath or throwing in some laundry — whatever my wife suggests, or we figure out together.
But this is difficult for me and for my wife.
uncertain
this → discuss → wife
How do we handle this and what exactly is going on?
asserted
what → handle → this
A As upsetting as this is, at seven, she may just be deeply attached to mom at this moment, which is normal.
uncertain
which → attach → moment
She may also simply want control over her own imaginative world of play.
uncertain
She → want → play
Also, at her age, her strong emotional reaction of screaming and crying isn’t necessarily equitable to the intensity of her feelings.
asserted
reaction → scream → feelings
Instead of seemingly barging in on her playtime, say hello, give her and your wife a kiss, go change and then ask if you can join.
asserted
you → barge → kiss
If she says no, walk away without emotion.
asserted
she → say → emotion
She needs to feel her boundaries matter and you’re not withdrawing based on her rejection.
asserted
you → need → rejection
It may be that this activity is mom-specific, so try to find something — anything — your daughter will do with both of you, and something she’ll agree to do with just you.
uncertain
she → try → you
It’s important for your bond to have something that’s just daddy-daughter.
asserted
that → ’ → something
If you’re still concerned, it may behoove you and your wife to speak with a therapist, to try to get to the bottom of this behaviour.
uncertain
it → ’re → behaviour
They’ll ask the probing questions that will hopefully reveal what you two can’t see on your own.
asserted
you → ask → own
My older brother has addiction issues.
asserted
brother → have → issues
At first it was marijuana, then it was alcohol and now it’s even harder drugs.
asserted
it → ’ → ?
My parents have sent him away at least four times I can remember.
asserted
I → send → him
He’s six years older than me, and the first time he went away he was 12.
asserted
he → ’ → me
I feel as though I’ve grown up most of my life without my older brother around.
asserted
I → feel → brother
There are two sisters in between us, and the three of us are very close.
asserted
three → be → us
When my older brother is away, it’s as though he doesn’t exist.
asserted
he → ’ → ?
My parents and my sisters never spoke about him when he wasn’t around; and they tiptoe around him when he’s present.
asserted
he → speak → him
I’m 18 now and he’s 24 and I don’t know him at all.
asserted
I → ’m → him
I feel robbed of my relationship with him, but don’t know how to make any change.
asserted
I → feel → change
What do you suggest?
asserted
you → suggest → What
It sounds as though your parents put a lot of effort in to get your brother the help he needed.
asserted
he → sound → help
I would imagine they were also trying to protect you and your sisters.
asserted
they → imagine → you
You would benefit from talking to a therapist, one who specializes in addiction.
asserted
who → benefit → addiction
And I would consider a group session with your parents and sisters to discuss, as a family, how best to support each other.
asserted
I → consider → other
Reader: “All children should be taught to be grateful and say thank you at a young age.
asserted
children → teach → age
If she doesn’t say thank you, stop buying her stuff, even if you are the parent.
asserted
you → say → stuff
She will quickly learn to show gratitude.
asserted
She → learn → gratitude
I used to buy my godchild gifts and he would not thank me, so I stopped buying him gifts.”
asserted
I → use → gifts
“I had a good chuckle over the ungrateful teen and her thankless daughter.
asserted
I → have → teen
…and 4 more, not listed.
The Aporia
