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Like a puffing tinpot general at the head of an expeditionary force of toy soldiers, the Earl Spencer has marched off to invade and conquer America.
asserted
Spencer → publish → America
He is a man on a three-pronged military mission; to promote his book, Swan Song: Diana, My Sister; to make lots of lovely money; to continue to pour ordure upon the Royal Family in general and King Charles in particular.
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He → promote → Family
‘They have to gaslight,’ he fumed in one interview.
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he → have → interview
‘They have to pretend there’s something wrong with my mind or my memory.
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They → have → mind
What an awfully big adventure for little brother Charles, who packed his trunk with his posh boy blazers and his shiny buckled loafers, then set off for the new world, fizzing with old animosities.
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who → pack → animosities
Television, radio, podcasts, broadcasts, newspapers and mags – our hero is ready, willing and able to appear on them all, to sing his song of royal woe and to give his former brother-in-law a kicking at every opportunity, for this unedifying War of the Charleses is far from over.
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War → appear → Charleses
At the book launch in New York this week, the Earl was interviewed by royal biographer Tina Brown in front of a live audience – and wasted no time in getting to the real nugget of meat on his payback kebab.
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Earl → interview → kebab
Once more, we were transported back to who said what in the days following Diana’s death in 1997.
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who → transport → 1997
‘So, I was very calm,’ the earl tells Tina.
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earl → tell → Tina
‘And we know that Prince Charles can be not calm.
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Charles → know → ?
We all bow our heads in respect at what that pen had to endure when he had his tantrum.’
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he → bow → tantrum
Charles Spencer is on a self-serving trajectory – and he is making an impact, writes Jan Moir
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Moir → serve → impact
I’m afraid so.
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I → ’m → ?
Tina giggled at this petty slight.
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Tina → giggle → slight
So did the audience.
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audience → do → ?
Spencer carried on.
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Spencer → carry → ?
As even as the reading on your in-person bile-o-meter, which seems to be approaching nuclear fission levels when it comes to the King
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it → seem → King
It’s all very cosy, especially as Spencer’s critiques of the Royal Family chime so precisely with the grievances of Meghan and Harry; they seem to believe the Royals only look after their own, that they have all been frozen out and never accorded the respect and homage they feel they deserve.
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they → ’ → respect
Gayle proceeds to butter him up as if he were a slice of toast.
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he → proceed → toast
She certainly gives good grease.
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She → give → grease
She tells him how marvellous he is for protecting his blood family nephews William and Harry, she instructs viewers to buy the book which she ‘highly recommends’ because it is ‘sensational’, she worries that he has been ‘heavily criticised’ for said book, but Spencer disputes this.
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Spencer → tell → this
‘I’m getting a lot of criticism fed by Buckingham Palace but not from other people and not from readers.’
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I → get → readers
This is patently stretching the truth somewhat, but Gayle does not challenge him.
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Gayle → stretch → him
‘Well done, Charles,’ is what she says instead.
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she → do → what
Next, he is interviewed by Matt Galloway for The Current, a Canadian radio show listened to by 10 million people every week.
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he → interview → people
Here, the earl postulates that Diana had ADHD and dyslexia, that her phone was possibly hacked, that she did not manipulate and collaborate with the media as has been widely reported, she only ‘harnessed their power’ to spotlight good causes instead.
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she → postulate → causes
He offers absolutely no evidence for any of this.
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He → offer → this
And then in his curiously fluting voice – although he sounds more camp duchess than man in love with his valet – Spencer doubles down on his incendiary written claim that Prince Charles was ‘giddily elated’ at Diana’s death when they spoke on the phone.
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they → sound → phone
‘He was really relaying to me how he had told William and Harry about their mother’s death,’ Spencer told the radio station.
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Spencer → relay → station
‘I just noted his tone as being sort of buoyant...
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I → note → tone
he did sound upbeat.’
Buoyant, upbeat?
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he → sound → ?
As Diana lay on a mortuary slab in a Paris hospital?
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Diana → lie → hospital
I’m still finding this bitter interpretation of events and emotions very hard to believe.
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interpretation → find → events
When pressed by Galloway, Spencer admitted that he cannot remember what this jaunty, happy cheeky chappy Charles actually said in those dark moments, he only remembers the tone.
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he → press → tone
According to Spencer, Prince Charles was ‘totally out of control, you know when somebody’s lost it.
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somebody → accord → it
I mean, we know this is a man who loses it.
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who → mean → it
We saw him lose it with a fountain pen...’
Not the pen again!
‘...signing documents just after he had become king.
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he → see → documents
‘Then he came in with that killer line, [‘we’ll forget her soon enough’]and that was really upsetting.’
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that → come → her
Charles Spencer appears on CBS Mornings to promote his book alongside Gayle King
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Spencer → appear → King
Spencer thinks it is up to King Charles, not him, to explain these words.
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it → think → words
…and 57 more, not listed.
The Aporia
