An 'extreme' conker championship event that sees contestants go head-to-head in anything-goes bouts has been cancelled due to 'health and safety' fears.
asserted
contestants → see → fears
The Peckham Conker Club's annual championships – where hopefuls can tamper with their nuts, eat their opponents' swinging delicacies and wrestle players to the ground – have been axed at the last minute due to concerns from 'authorities'.
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hopefuls → tamper → authorities
The London event, which saw almost 2,000 people turn up for its eighth edition last year, has been called off due to the 'nutty community spirit' with organisers saying attendees were deemed 'too raucous and fun-loving' for the current venue.
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attendees → see → venue
The 2025 competition was hosted by Brick Brewery Taproom, but the high attendance meant this year external managers were hired, who are understood to have raised safety concerns.
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who → host → concerns
Ecstatic crowds were pictured crammed into the narrow space between Peckham Rye station's railway arches as they watched Timmy Nuts – unfortunately not his real name – beat two-time champion Pietro the Pummeller to take home the grand prize: a golden nut.
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Nuts → picture → prize
But as would-be conker fanatics were preparing their weapons last week – modifications including hardening and reinforcing them with glue are not just allowed but encouraged – they received news they had an extra year to prepare.
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they → prepare → year
'We’re sad to announce that the 2026 Peckham Conker Championships won’t be happening this year,' the club wrote on Instagram.
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club → ’re → Instagram
Well, last year we had c.2000 of you nutters take part and sadly the Health & Safety police have deemed that you’re too raucous & fun-loving for the current space.'
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you → have → space
The Peckham Conker Club's annual championships - where hopefuls can tamper with their nuts, eat their opponents swinging delicacies and wrestle players to the ground - have been called off at the last minute due to concerns from 'authorities'
asserted
hopefuls → tamper → authorities
The event, which saw almost 2,000 people turn up for its eighth edition last year, has been cancelled by the 'health and safety police', organisers said
The event has grown exponentially in recent years, after starting out as a few friends in a pub nine years ago (Pictured: 2024 competition)
The championships have almost no rules with violence a key part of the fun
The statement added it had hoped to facilitate the event in some form but that the 'costs and hassle' involved meant it would 'not be a lot of fun'.
'We’d have had to ditch the spirit of Battle Royale rules (aka there are no rules), and replace it with *rules* (BOO!) - and that’s just not what the Peckham Conker Championships are about,' it continued.
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it → see → what
'Nutty community spirit is what made the Peckham Conker Championships what it was.
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it → make → ?
All we did was give you some nuts on strings.
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we → do → strings
It was you guys who embraced the chaos.'
The club likened the turn of events to Glastonbury and said it would instead have a 'fallow year' before returning in 2027 for its ten-year anniversary.
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it → embrace → anniversary
The championships, which started out as a few mates in a pub before soaring in popularity during the pandemic, have almost no rules with violence a key part of the fun.
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violence → start → fun
Players are 'recommended' to follow a few basic rules, including taking three strikes at their opponent's conker per turn and performing a victory dance upon a win, with 'humiliation' described as 'essential'.
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humiliation → recommend → win
As for the battles themselves, almost anything is allowed.
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anything → allow → battles
Contestants frequently wrestle each other to the ground when their conkers become intertwined – known as 'tangles', tread on the nuts to destroy them – 'stampsies', and even bite one another or the projectiles themselves.
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conkers → wrestle → one
As the club says, 'it's all within the rules!' and the game is 'about winning - not taking part'.
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game → say → part
It's understood that this year, following the unprecedented crowds at the 2025 event, the host venue decided it could not take place without external event managers, who were insisting on more safety measures.
uncertain
who → understand → measures
The brewery itself was rescued from administration in 2023, but its website has since been taken down while emails bounce back.
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emails → rescue → 2023
It's not the first-such event to face problems – last October, the World Conker Championships was forced to introduce enhanced safety measures after a cheating scandal erupted involving a metal nut.
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scandal → face → nut
The Olympics of the nut world, held in Southwick, West Sussex, introduced airport-style checks including a scanner, directions to empty pockets and a 'magnet on a stick'.
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Olympics → hold → stick
It came after the 2024 winner David Jakins saw concerns raised by his opponent about the conker he had used for the final bout, which was over in one strike.
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which → come → strike
Matters escalated when a steel conker was discovered on his person, but a thorough review of photos and video footage concluded he had won the competition fairly.
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he → escalate → competition
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