“Going to the cinema is like returning to the womb,” director Federico Fellini said.
asserted
Fellini → go → womb
“You sit there, still and meditative in the darkness, waiting for life to appear on the screen.”
asserted
life → sit → screen
I couldn’t agree less.
asserted
I → agree → ?
I don’t remember my womb era, but I know it was a solitary season.
asserted
it → remember → era
A cinema screening is a communal experience – or, at least, it’s supposed to be – and because I often go to the movies alone, I’m very sensitive to the moods of other cinemagoers.
asserted
I → suppose → cinemagoers
If this year has taught me anything, it’s that the quality of the crowd can have a big effect on your experience.
asserted
quality → teach → experience
A couple of weeks ago, I went to see a Chinese film, Kung Fu Soccer.
asserted
I → go → film
It’s the sequel to Shaolin Soccer, the 2001 action-comedy classic directed by Hong Kong cinema icon Stephen Chow.
asserted
It → ’ → Chow
Shaolin Soccer is a kooky film, starring Chow himself, about a former Shaolin monk who reunites with five old friends to bring supernatural martial-arts powers to the soccer pitch.
asserted
who → star → pitch
It’s a celebrated example of mou lei tau, a cinematic style synonymous with Chow – absurdist physical comedy full of rapid-fire Cantonese dialogue.
asserted
It → ’ → dialogue
But a lot has changed in terms of special-effects, movie marketing and relations between Hong Kong and mainland China since Chow made Shaolin Soccer.
asserted
Chow → change → Soccer
I’d been following some of the online commentary about the big-budget star-studded sequel (the box-office loves it; long-term Chow fans do not) and I was curious to see it for myself.
asserted
I → follow → myself
Naturally, I chose a session at Doncaster Shopping Centre on a Thursday at 10am.
asserted
I → choose → 10
I was the only person there, apart from one man sitting a few rows in front of me.
asserted
I → sit → me
The opening scenes of the film were funny, but the movie quickly devolved into shouting matches, immeasurable stakes and AI effects that looked glossy and cheap.
asserted
that → devolve → matches
He turned on his phone around the 20-minute mark and didn’t turn it off again.
asserted
He → turn → it
Who was this man, not watching Kung Fu Soccer on a Thursday?
asserted
man → watch → Thursday
Soon I was projecting all sorts of things onto him, based on translated reviews I’d read of Kung Fu Soccer on the Chinese Douban review site.
asserted
I → project → site
I kept thinking about one anonymous Douban poster, a lifelong Chow fan, who had given the film a one-star review, with the doleful title, “Goodbye Stephen Chow, goodbye youth”.
asserted
who → keep → title
This reviewer had complained – aptly, I began to think – that the humour in Kung Fu Soccer was like someone “forcibly tickling your armpit”.
asserted
someone → complain → armpit
The reviewer had also compared the experience to attending a miserable high school reunion.
asserted
reviewer → compare → reunion
The man in row G, I began to imagine, was scrolling through his phone to stave off existential despair.
asserted
I → begin → despair
I began to shrink from the movie further myself, based on his example, even though I knew it was a “popcorn movie” that you’re supposed to see with friends.
asserted
you → begin → friends
A special shout-out to the woman who got up suddenly during a tense point in the horror movie Obsession, causing everyone around her to shriek.
asserted
everyone → get → her
And to the bloke who brought drama to the dreariness of Father Mother Sister Brother by snapping, “Will you two shut the hell up?” at two whispering Salomon-footed heterosexuals sitting behind him at Cinema Nova.
asserted
you → bring → Nova
(I think this gentleman might have provided the young lovers with a shared enemy at a critical stage in their relationship.
uncertain
gentleman → think → relationship
I wish all three well.)
asserted
I → wish → three
But the best cinema crowd I’ve encountered this year was at the Sovereign Shorts premiere at the Melbourne International Film Festival in August.
asserted
I → encounter → August
It was a premiere, so there was an element of glamour to the night.
asserted
It → be → night
There were speeches and a red carpet, plus lots of industry types as well as cast, crew and filmmakers’ family and friends – all adding to the electric atmosphere.
asserted
all → be → atmosphere
Though the films broached painful subjects, there was an overarching theme of resilience, and many moments of humour, joy and beauty.
asserted
films → broach → humour
There were cheers from the crowd, at times, when familiar faces appeared on screen, and gasps during certain lingering shots.
asserted
faces → be → shots
Protest on the Dancefloor, about young First Nations people in Melbourne’s electronic music scene, featured some incisive commentary around questions of bodily sovereignty as well as scenes of liberation and transcendence.
asserted
Protest → feature → liberation
Pride permeated the whole cinema.
asserted
Pride → permeate → cinema
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asserted
Andrews → replace → Lady
The Aporia
