By the time children are around 12 years old, many will begin to ask if they can go out to the local park, playground or shops to spend time with their friends without adult supervision.
asserted
they → begin → supervision
This may happen more often during the school holiday period.
uncertain
This → happen → period
They might say:
All of my friends are going.
uncertain
All → say → friends
Can I hang out with them?
asserted
I → hang → them
When a child first asks this question, it can be difficult for parents to judge whether their child is ready.
asserted
child → ask → question
Parents might want experts to give them a specific age recommendation, but children develop at their own pace and readiness varies.
uncertain
readiness → want → pace
This means there is no single right age when children are ready to spend time with friends, out of the house, unsupervised.
asserted
children → mean → house
As the parent of three children, I've faced this situation myself.
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I → face → situation
So how do you know when it's okay to let your child go out on their own?
asserted
child → know → own
The importance of independence
Children need opportunities for independent activities to build wellbeing.
asserted
Children → need → wellbeing
The freedom to go out with friends without adult supervision gives children the chance to explore, make choices and navigate unexpected challenges.
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freedom → go → challenges
It allows them to develop their autonomy, confidence and resilience.
asserted
them → allow → autonomy
It can also help kids get more active.
asserted
kids → help → ?
Adventurous outdoor activities with friends, such as bike riding, allow children to learn how to cope with potentially risky situations and uncertainty, which may reduce their chances of developing anxiety.
uncertain
which → allow → anxiety
Research on children whose parents allowed them to travel and play in their neighbourhoods also found it may help them cultivate friendships and create a sense of community.
uncertain
them → allow → community
While many parents and carers acknowledge the benefits of letting their child have more independence, they may still feel nervous about the potential risks that come with it.
uncertain
that → acknowledge → it
A 2019 New Zealand survey asked more than 2,000 parents about their attitudes towards risky play and children being out on their own, and the barriers that prevented them from allowing their children to be more independent.
asserted
children → ask → them
The two biggest concerns were road safety (increased risks of traffic accidents) and "stranger danger" (children potentially having encounters with harmful adults).
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concerns → have → adults
So, with these concerns in mind, what are some things you can do to see if your child is ready?
asserted
child → do → mind
If your child asks to be out alone, you might start by asking them:
What makes you feel ready to be out on your own?
Your child's answer may give you a clearer idea of whether they're ready or not.
uncertain
they → ask → idea
I've stayed at home alone before.
asserted
I → stay → home
I think you should trust me enough to be able to do this on my own.
asserted
you → think → own
There are a number of things to consider when deciding if your child is capable.
asserted
child → be → things
Do they notice potential hazards?
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they → notice → hazards
For instance, would they notice if a storm was approaching and they needed to seek shelter?
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they → notice → shelter
Second, does your child have good judgement?
asserted
child → have → judgement
Would they think clearly if they were faced with an unexpected problem, such as getting a flat bike tyre?
asserted
they → think → tyre
Do they follow instructions?
asserted
they → follow → instructions
Can they be trusted to return home at an agreed-upon time?
asserted
they → trust → time
If you think your child is ready, it's important to set ground rules for when they're out.
asserted
they → think → rules
This might include your child agreeing to stay within a particular area, being home by a certain time, and communicating if they are going to be late.
uncertain
they → include → time
You might also ask them to stay with their friends the entire time they're out.
uncertain
they → ask → friends
Start closer to home
For many families, it helps to begin with an activity closer to home, such as walking to the park and back.
asserted
it → start → park
As trust and confidence build for both of you, your child can then be allowed out longer and further away.
asserted
child → build → you
It's also good to have a plan with your child about what to do if something goes wrong, they want your help or they need to contact you.
asserted
they → have → you
While it can feel daunting initially, independent time with friends without parent supervision helps your child to grow, develop and thrive.
asserted
child → feel → supervision
This piece first appeared on The Conversation.
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piece → appear → Conversation
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