My friends who are parents of college-age children have a new favorite thing to complain about, and it isn’t tuition, although it’s close.
asserted
it → have → thing
It’s grades, or more precisely how easy it is, even at the most expensive institutions, to get an A.
asserted
it → ’ → institutions
That’s the grade you get for showing up to class reasonably often, turning in work reasonably OK, and being reasonably awake and hygienic while doing so.
asserted
you → ’ → work
When I was last in school, an A meant excellent, a B meant good, and a C meant average.
asserted
C → mean → average
An average essay, with average insights and an average amount of effort behind it, got a C.
asserted
essay → get → C.
Maybe on a good day, from a professor who liked you, you could weasel into a C-plus.
uncertain
you → like → C
If you’re somewhere in your 30s or early 40s, you might recall that an average essay got a B.
uncertain
essay → ’re → B.
The entire scale slid up a notch and a half, and suddenly everyone was a B-plus student.
asserted
everyone → slide → notch
If you’re younger than that, the bottom of the scale, the absolute worst you can do is to seemingly get a B.
asserted
you → ’re → B.
With every generation, it seems, the letters of the alphabet scale get fewer and fewer.
asserted
letters → seem → scale
It’s still possible to get a D or an F, of course — you have to really try, but it’s possible — but a C is nearly unthinkable.
asserted
C → ’ → course
Young people will allow themselves to be judged as excellent, very good, or failures, but they will not accept being called average, even though average is what most of us are a lot of the time.
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most → allow → time
That’s why the word was invented in the first place: to describe the usual usual.
asserted
word → ’ → usual
Everyone gets an A, and this is an outrage, of course, especially if you’re the one writing the tuition checks.
asserted
you → get → checks
Whenever the subject comes up, I nod along with my friends as they agree that everything is worse now, everything is easy, we’re living in a coddling, soft culture that hands out gold stars for attendance, and isn’t this the worst thing ever?
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this → come → attendance
I agree with all of it.
asserted
I → agree → it
I agree loudly.
asserted
I → agree → ?
I’ve been known to snort “participation trophies!” with real venom.
asserted
I → know → venom
Which is why I should probably mention this: I’m back in school, working toward a Master of Divinity at Princeton Theological Seminary.
asserted
I → mention → Seminary
This semester, I’m taking a class in Christian ethics, and it’s terrific.
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it → take → ethics
The professor is smart and engaging and asks provocative questions, the reading is wide and ideologically diverse (I know, I know, but I promise, it is), and my classmates are whip-smart.
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classmates → ask → questions
This week, I turned in a paper for that class, and it’s… average.
asserted
it → turn → class
It’s well-written because I’m a professional writer, and if I can’t manage that, I’m sunk.
asserted
I → ’ → that
The past two weeks were busy and complicated, and somewhere in the middle of writing it, I thought, “Well, this one isn’t going to be very good.”
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one → write → it
Then I wrapped it up and turned it in.
asserted
I → wrap → it
By any un-inflated measure, it’s a C paper.
asserted
it → ’ → measure
On a good day, because the professor likes me, maybe a C-plus.
asserted
professor → like → me
And yet, I will almost certainly get a B-plus.
asserted
I → get → plus
Let me be clear: I’m fine with that.
asserted
I → let → that
Look, I do all the assigned reading, I’m lively and attentive in class, and in those ways I’m an A student.
asserted
I → look → ways
But every so often something has to give, and at this point in life, I can look at my calendar, punt, and feel no guilt about it.
asserted
I → have → it
So, to my friends fuming about grade inflation, nearly all of them younger than I am, allow me to say: Get off my back, old man!
asserted
me → fume → back
Anyway, I’m in the right place for this.
asserted
I → ’m → this
At seminary, when you receive something good you didn’t earn and don’t deserve, we have a word for it.
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we → receive → it
We call it grace.
asserted
We → call → it
It’s a whole big thing in my Episcopalian corner of Christianity, as a matter of fact.
asserted
It → ’ → fact
We are saved by grace, not by works.
asserted
We → save → works
Rob Long is a television writer and producer, including as a screenwriter and executive producer on Cheers, and the co-founder of Ricochet.com.
asserted
Long → include → Ricochet.com
The Aporia
