Mick Cronin was charming with every word again Thursday, the UCLA men’s basketball coach barely going a minute without ripping off a one-liner about something that caught his fancy.
asserted
that → go → fancy
He relayed his message to Dodgers manager Dave Roberts about his team’s close call in the playoffs against Atlanta.
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He → relay → Atlanta
“I texted Dave, ‘Quit making me nervous,’” Cronin said.
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Cronin → texte → Dave
“I really did.
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I → do → ?
We’ve got to get [Shohei] Ohtani going again.
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Ohtani → get → ?
But with the lineup we have, the bottom of our lineup can get a couple of home runs and we win.”
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we → have → runs
He had fun with a reporter asking about guard Jaylen Petty’s ability to play on the ball.
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He → have → ball
“What do you mean by that?” Cronin quipped.
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Cronin → mean → that
“Like, my dog plays on the ball – he rolls around, he plays on the ball.
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he → play → ball
He doesn’t ever bring it back, he likes me to throw it.”
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me → bring → it
Wearing a bespoke blazer, he made sure to get in a reference to his fancy threads after being asked about another coach’s style.
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he → wear → style
“Like, style to me is a sportscoat,” Cronin said, pulling on the lapel of his jacket.
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Cronin → say → jacket
“It’s pretty damn nice.”
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It → ’ → ?
It’s always this way when Cronin meets with reporters on media day or one of his weekly availabilities, the most gregarious and hilarious coach in Southern California riffing on every topic and filling every notebook multiple times over.
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Cronin → ’ → notebook
Which raises the question: Why can’t Cronin always be like this?
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Cronin → raise → this
Of course, few coaches are going to be agreeable after a loss, but maybe something Cronin occasionally mumbles on the way out of postgame press conferences – “Time to get out of here, I’m hungry” – explains why he tends to be considerably grumpier on game days.
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he → go → days
You see, Cronin doesn’t eat whenever his team plays.
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team → see → ?
He confirmed as much Thursday inside the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center.
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He → confirm → Center
Maybe he’ll down some Powerade Zero, Gatorade Zero or coconut water before the game.
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he → down → game
That’s it.
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That → ’ → ?
As he explained the root of his culinary restraint, it’s more by curse than by choice.
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it → explain → choice
“It’s something I’ve fought my whole career,” he told the California Post.
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he → ’ → Post
“We all have nerves of different levels.
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We → have → levels
It just kind of is what it is – some guys can’t sleep …
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guys → sleep → ?
I have the bottled-up stomach problem on game day.
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I → have → day
If I do eat on game day, I’ll have to get up real early.”
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I → eat → day
Refusing to partake of, well, pretty much anything caloric is not something Cronin enjoys.
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Cronin → refuse → anything
“I hate it; it’s tough,” Cronin said.
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Cronin → hate → it
“Everybody’s system is different, so put it this way – if I can do the press conference while eating a steak, I would do the press conference while eating a steak.
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I → put → steak
Maybe he should do the press conference while eating a steak.
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he → do → steak
We know how Cronin gets when he’s hungry, and it’s not always pretty – win or lose.
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it → know → ?
Wins are sometimes used as a soapbox to gripe about travel or scheduling.
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Wins → use → travel
He’ll take aim at anything and everything, including his players and reporters who ask dumb questions.
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who → take → questions
While his bad mood certainly has a lot more to do with the loss than not having downed a hoagie, you try and go an entire day without eating and see how pleasant you are.
Presumably having eaten before he met with reporters Thursday, Cronin was back to delightful mode.
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Cronin → have → mode
Among the topics he weighed in on was not being among the cast of coaches who can’t afford to retain their top players.
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who → weigh → players
“Fortunately, I’m not in that situation,” Cronin said, “or I’d be selling hamburgers down on Santa Monica Boulevard.”
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I → ’m → Boulevard
Food was unintentionally a theme, with Cronin telling the story of grilling an endless stack of cheeseburgers for his players on an outdoor patio at UCLA’s practice facility.
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Cronin → tell → facility
“It’s unbelievable – [Adem] Bona used to eat six cheeseburgers,” Cronin said.
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Cronin → ’ → cheeseburgers
“Then athletic department people started showing up because they smelled the grill – no, I’m done.
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I → start → grill
I’ve been sweating out here for an hour.”
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I → sweat → hour
…and 8 more, not listed.
The Aporia
