- Published
Spoiler warning: This article reveals details from the third episode of The Celebrity Traitors, series two.
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article → publish → Traitors
We're used to raised voices, conflicting theories and lost tempers on Celebrity Traitors, where the round table normally results in a dramatic showdown.
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table → use → showdown
But as this year's first vote got under way, the writing was on the castle wall.
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writing → get → wall
Viewers who often get frustrated with the faithful and root for them to uncover a traitor had their wish firmly Richard E Grant-ed on Thursday, as the actor was banished in a landslide vote.
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actor → frustrate → vote
His unusual strategy of revealing he was a traitor to the other celebrities in the bar led to the first time in the UK version of the show that a traitor has been identified at the opening round table.
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traitor → reveal → table
"Thank you for giving me an almost bingo full-house of votes," Grant told his fellow players.
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Grant → thank → players
"I have always wanted to be a traitor, as you know, and sometimes in life your dreams do come true."
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dreams → want → life
There was jubilation from the other players as Grant confirmed his identity, waving his hands in the air.
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Grant → be → air
Ross Kemp was so happy it came out as borderline anger, with a vein-popping "get in there!"
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it → come → get
Other players seemed genuinely shocked.
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players → seem → ?
"This is me with men all the time," joked comedian Joanne McNally, who hadn't voted for Grant.
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who → joke → Grant
"I completely believed him!"
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I → believe → him
But although the faithful had successfully detected a traitor, and even managed to spell his name correctly on their slates, the first round table saw some other players behave in ways that immediately aroused suspicion.
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that → detect → suspicion
Julie Hesmondhalgh noticed Myha'la ostentatiously winking at Grant before she voted for him, which led the former Coronation Street actress to make one of the most impassioned - but mistaken - speeches of the night.
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which → notice → night
"It was traitor-on-traitor," she insisted (it wasn't).
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it → insist → traitor
"I don't know if anybody else saw it," (we did).
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we → know → it
"It was a wink of... 'I've had to do this to save my skin', and I am so excited because I truly believe we can get two in a row."
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we → do → row
The remaining traitors, Maya Jama and James Acaster, met in the turret later with the choice of murdering previously shortlisted players Jerry Hall and Hannah Fry, or seducing a third traitor to replace Grant.
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traitors → remain → Grant
The pair ultimately decided to recruit mathematician Fry, who had the most wonderful and meme-able reaction when she found out that, not only was she not being murdered, she was being seduced.
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she → decide → reaction
Accepting the offer, Fry joined Jama and Acaster in the turret, exclaiming as she learned their identities: "I had both of you down as faithful!"
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I → accept → you
The new trio discussed how they would approach breakfast the next morning, before Acaster delivered the line of the episode.
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Acaster → discuss → episode
"It's changing a lot, this Traitors," he observed of the fluid line-up.
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he → change → up
The next morning, there were shocked faces when the players realised everybody had made it to breakfast unscathed, with the celebrities concluding that one player must have been recruited.
"
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player → be → breakfast
It was fascinating seeing Jerry and Hannah come back," said Miranda Hart.
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Hart → see → ?
"Hannah seemed different, as if something new has happened to her.
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something → seem → her
I definitely clocked a nervousness in her, which is very interesting.
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which → clock → her
Blimey, we could have a new first-rate traitor hunter on our hands here.
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we → have → hands
But would any of the other players feel the same?
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any → feel → players
"Poor Hannah," said McNally, "she's been recruited."
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she → say → ?
As the theories continued to float around across various sub-meetings, with Hesmondhalgh and Bella Ramsey setting their sights on Myha'la, the celebrities headed out to their next mission.
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celebrities → continue → mission
Presenter Claudia Winkleman told them that the latest task would see them use a battering ram to break down the doors of four crypts, where they could find money to add to the prize pot - and also potentially some shields.
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they → tell → pot
James Blunt immediately took control, assigning players various different roles.
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Blunt → take → roles
"He was full army officer," Hart observed.
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Hart → observe → ?
"I found it mildly erotic."
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it → find → ?
"I don't think I've ever used a battering ram," Lycett reflected.
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Lycett → think → ram
"I would use a battering ram to get into [Wicked star] Jonathan Bailey's house, but that's it."
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that → use → house
Myha'la and Fry entered one crypt, found a shield and debated who should keep it.
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who → enter → it
It ultimately went to Myha'la, partly because she had grabbed it first, although she sweetly suggested that the pair could keep it secret from the other players to protect both of them.
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pair → go → them
Jama and Sharon Rooney scored two further shields, but the players then found that two of the three shields would have to be given up anyway in order to unlock the final chest of prize money.
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two → score → money
Rooney and Myha'la surrendered theirs, but traitor Jama managed to hold on to hers.
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Jama → surrender → hers
…and 23 more, not listed.
The Aporia
