“Love bombing” is where one person in a relationship manipulates the other to create an emotional dependency.
asserted
person → manipulate → dependency
It’s a dangerous trend in dating.
asserted
It → ’ → dating
And in superficial LA, unfortunately, it’s a big trend.
asserted
it → ’ → LA
On a recent evening in Santa Monica, I stumbled across what seemed like a marriage proposal.
asserted
what → stumble → proposal
A pink carpet lined with rose petals and candles led to a makeshift dais.
asserted
carpet → line → dais
Within the heart-shaped backdrop behind the platform was a neon light contorted into the text of a Spanish phrase.
asserted
light → shape → phrase
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asserted
Sign → sign → California
A young man handed a young woman flowers.
asserted
man → hand → flowers
They kissed.
asserted
They → kiss → ?
Were they getting married?
asserted
they → marry → ?
The sign in Spanish read: “¿Quieres ser mi novia?”
asserted
novia → read → Spanish
That means: “Will you be my girlfriend?”
asserted
you → mean → ?
Yeah, I know.
asserted
I → know → ?
And I hate to say it — but it’s a sign of love bombing.
asserted
it → hate → bombing
A love bomber makes the object of their affection feel so loved, to such an extreme degree, that their boundaries come down.
asserted
boundaries → make → degree
If you’re the target, you become the center of their universe, and then, big surprise — they become the center of yours.
asserted
they → ’re → yours
And it often happens at the beginning of a relationship.
asserted
it → happen → relationship
Like, when you define the relationship — and ask her to become your girlfriend, ahem, novia.
asserted
you → define → her
What are the signs, you ask?
asserted
you → ask → ?
They include constant communication, discussions of moving in together, and gestures that are not proportionate to how long you’ve been acquainted.
asserted
you → include → communication
Conversely, with genuine interest, they do like you, and there is authentic sharing to see if both people are in alignment.
asserted
people → like → alignment
But real connection takes time.
asserted
connection → take → time
All-night conversations don’t count.
asserted
conversations → count → ?
Emotional intimacy is not acquired overnight.
asserted
intimacy → acquire → ?
Meanwhile, love bombing crashes and burns quicker than you even know it.
asserted
you → crash → it
Love bombers will turn very harshly on you, even harder than they worshipped you.
asserted
they → turn → you
They quite often turn to cheating, lying and gaslighting.
asserted
They → turn → cheating
Then, when things deteriorate, they can suddenly get truly toxic.
asserted
they → deteriorate → ?
They attack, project, demean, and ridicule — and all this animosity is on you, when last week you were on the highest of pedestals.
That’s the thing about being on a pedestal.
asserted
That → attack → pedestal
Women know, espeically in LA.
asserted
Women → know → LA
I asked around.
asserted
I → ask → ?
Leslie said: “Yes, it has happened to me!”
asserted
it → say → me
Zoe says, “Right there is the pattern of narcissists.
asserted
pattern → say → narcissists
The goal is to control you.”
asserted
goal → control → you
Erin says: ”I married it.
asserted
I → say → it
Now after 25 years in, I got therapy.
asserted
I → get → therapy
Now I live my life and nothing someone does or says makes me sad.
asserted
me → live → life
I do me, I travel with girlfriends, lunch with friends and I live my life as I please.
asserted
I → do → life
Still married, and he’s tame now.
asserted
he → marry → ?
I broke the fool.”
asserted
I → break → fool
…and 13 more, not listed.
The Aporia
