For one: If Republicans lose in November, the world as we know it will end.
asserted
we → lose → it
For two: The party plans to go down looking fabulous.
asserted
party → plan → two
Not the Republican Party—what, with members' standard blue blazers and red power ties?—but the party in downtown Dallas, here at the American Airlines Center, where many of President Donald Trump's MAGA faithfuls convened this week in anticipation of the midterm elections.
asserted
many → convene → elections
There were sparkles and sequins and Trump jerseys and at least one man dressed as the U.S.–Mexico border wall, all while attendees mulled what would happen if Democrats reclaimed a majority in the U.S. House of Representatives, which they are largely expected to do.
asserted
they → be → which
I was initiated appropriately.
asserted
I → initiate → ?
Upon first arriving, I began swimming upstream against a crowd heading toward the main event, many clad in their finest reds, as I ricocheted between them with my suitcase.
asserted
I → arrive → suitcase
It felt a bit reminiscent of the stampede scene from The Lion King, only in this version they were wearing cowboy hats.
asserted
they → feel → hats
MAGA merch tables greet people in the outdoor pavilion inside the perimeter.
asserted
tables → greet → perimeter
Offerings include a shirt celebrating Trump's first term ("IT AIN'T A MISTAKE SNOWFLAKE"), another celebrating his current term ("SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP"), and a hat hoping for a third ("TRUMP 2028").
asserted
IT → include → third
Nearby, The Daily Wire hosts a party called the BaRNC—bar and Republican National Committee, we love a portmanteau—where drinks are flowing.
asserted
drinks → host → portmanteau
(The outlet advises people to "enjoy conservatively.")
asserted
outlet → advise → people
Trivia plays on the TV: "By early 2026," one question reads, "how many illegal immigrants charged with or convicted of crimes had been deported under President Trump?"
asserted
immigrants → play → Trump
Onstage at the main event, the message oscillates between hopeful (if we are talking about Trump) and utterly dire (if we are not).
asserted
we → oscillate → Trump
"Your vote will decide whether our country stumbles at the starting gate of the next 250 years," the president told the sequined, cowboy-hatted crowd, "or surges forward and never, ever looks back.
asserted
president → decide → crowd
Why this convention was planned has been a matter of debate.
asserted
planned → plan → debate
Those, in theory, exist to formally nominate candidates.
asserted
Those → exist → candidates
There are people who came as "delegates," but they aren't doing any delegating, because there is no delegating to do.
asserted
they → be → delegating
You could make the argument that this is about Ken Paxton, the Republican Senate candidate from Texas, whose scandal-ridden tenure as attorney general has him facing a weirdly close race against Democrat James Talarico (known in these walls as James Talafreako).
uncertain
him → make → Talafreako
"He may not dress right.
uncertain
He → dress → ?
He may not talk exactly perfectly, and he may not be the best-looking guy I've ever seen," Trump said of Paxton.
uncertain
Trump → talk → Paxton
"But you know what he is?
asserted
he → know → ?
He's the greatest attorney general in America, and he deserves to be your next senator."
asserted
he → deserve → America
The inverse relationship between Paxton's alleged homeliness and his fitness for office was a theme across the president's nearly two-hour speech.
asserted
relationship → allege → speech
You could also make the argument that this was mostly about Trump, who, it goes without saying, relishes an opportunity—any opportunity—to be camp under the spotlight.
uncertain
it → make → spotlight
(He entered the stage to Lee Greenwood singing "God Bless the USA."
asserted
God → enter → USA
It was a fitting end to the evening, in which speakers foretold the apocalypse that would come if Democrats were victorious in the midterms.
asserted
Democrats → foretell → midterms
"If the Republicans win," Trump said, "you win with us, and you get $5,000."
asserted
you → win → 5,000
The crowd went wild.
asserted
crowd → go → ?
"THAT CAUSES INFLATION," he shouted.
asserted
he → cause → INFLATION
The Aporia
