The devastating loss of their unborn son tested Robert Yeomans and Heidy Perez Perez's relationship in ways they never expected.
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they → test → ways
Through the experience they say they learnt how to grow around the grief, with patience and understanding for each other.
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they → say → other
We first met on an app which was designed for people interested in learning languages.
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which → meet → languages
I was trying to learn Spanish and Heidy was one of the only people on this app in Adelaide who could speak Spanish fluently, because she was there as an international student.
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she → try → student
We met in person not too long after we started talking but things didn't necessarily click straight away.
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things → meet → person
We just both weren't in the right time of our lives to take the next step.
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We → take → step
Then we reconnected a year later and never really looked back.
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we → reconnecte → ?
Her connection to family, the way she treated people was just this warm kind of bubbliness that really showed me how beautiful her heart was.
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heart → treat → me
We came from different backgrounds and cultures, but we complemented each other in ways that felt easy.
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that → come → ways
I was attracted to Rob's kindness, his calm nature and the way he made me feel safe and supported.
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me → attract → kindness
He was also someone I could laugh with and be completely myself around.
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I → laugh → ?
As our relationship grew, it became much more than just falling in love.
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it → grow → love
We became a team.
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We → become → ?
We built a life together in Australia, navigating all the changes that come with creating a life away from where I was born, and slowly started imagining what our future family might look like.
We survived it, one day at a time
Robert: Thiago is our first baby, and we found out we were pregnant with him a few months after our wedding, which was 2021.
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which → build → wedding
It was Valentine's Day when he must have been conceived, so he really was a baby of our love.
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he → conceive → love
When Heidy had reached 28 weeks, we were told that Thiago was not growing properly and there were issues with the placenta.
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Thiago → reach → placenta
She was hospitalised for a period but discharged.
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She → hospitalise → period
Unfortunately, on the day of our wedding anniversary, Heidy woke up in a lot of pain.
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Heidy → wake → pain
We went into the hospital, and they gave us that horrible news of "sorry, we can't detect the heartbeat".
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we → go → heartbeat
Heidy gave birth to Thiago later that day by a C-section.
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Heidy → give → section
It was just a devastating loss that you couldn't imagine.
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you → imagine → that
Thiago was deeply loved and wanted, and becoming his parents had already changed us before we even got to meet him.
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we → love → him
There are really no words that adequately describe what it feels like to prepare yourself to meet your baby and instead have to say goodbye.
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it → be → goodbye
I don't think we really "coped" in the beginning.
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we → think → beginning
Our relationship was tested in ways we never expected.
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we → test → ways
But underneath all of that pain, we knew we were experiencing the loss of the same person — our son.
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we → know → person
We had to learn to give each other space to grieve differently while still holding onto each other.
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We → have → other
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He will always be part of our story
Heidy:
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He → sign → story
I think before losing Thiago, we could never have understood the kind of pain that another person can carry.
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person → think → that
Robert and I learnt that sometimes loving someone doesn't mean having the right words; sometimes it means sitting beside them, holding them, listening, or simply being there.
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it → learn → them
We also learnt that we are stronger together, but that being strong doesn't mean pretending that something doesn't hurt.
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something → learn → ?
But we grew around the grief.
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we → grow → grief
We became more compassionate towards each other, more understanding and more aware of how precious our time together is.
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time → become → other
Thiago's life is not defined only by how it ended.
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it → define → ?
We carry him with us in the way we love, in the way we see the world and in the family we have continued to build, now with our baby daughter Sienna.
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we → carry → daughter
Sienna didn't replace Thiago.
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Sienna → replace → Thiago
She brought me back into a part of motherhood that I thought I had lost forever.
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I → bring → that
Heidy approached our second pregnancy with the grace and poise of someone with superpowers, really.
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Heidy → approach → superpowers
Pregnancy is already a marathon, but when you add in the additional trauma and grief, I don't think I could have done that if the roles were reversed.
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roles → add → that
When Sienna was born, I feel like I entered that space naturally as a dad.
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I → bear → dad
…and 4 more, not listed.
The Aporia