A stand-up comic since her 20s – she’s now 58 – and a regular TV and radio performer, Lucy has mined her personal travails including disastrous relationships, too much drinking and the indignities of ageing in her famous sardonic drawl.
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Lucy → stand → drawl
In 2023, she had a “burnout”, and she’s turned her discoveries into a book about that deep exhaustion.
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she → have → exhaustion
In 2023, you had what you call a burnout.
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you → call → what
What happened?
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What → happen → ?
I now look back and the burnout part started when I had COVID in lockdown in Adelaide, and the thought of doing stand-up ever again just made me want to cry and repeatedly punch myself in the face.
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me → look → face
And then, as luck would have it, I was offered the role of Winnie in the MTC’s [Melbourne Theatre Company] production of Happy Days, which I still can’t quite believe.
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I → have → which
It wasn’t great timing because I was at a point where I just needed a break, but of course, there is no business like showbusiness, so off I went.
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I → need → showbusiness
When I finished the play, I went to Perth.
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I → finish → Perth
I thought, “I’m finally going to have a holiday.”
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I → think → holiday
I got really sick.
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I → get → ?
Up until that point, I simply didn’t believe in burnout.
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I → believe → burnout
If I’m really honest about it, I thought, “Oh yeah, sure, people are a bit lazy and weak,” with no judgment whatsoever.
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people → ’m → judgment
What did it feel like for you?
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it → feel → you
Exhaustion that I had never experienced before.
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I → experience → ?
Like I couldn’t get out of bed, was so tired, but also just a kind of grab bag of symptoms.
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I → get → symptoms
I’m anxious anyway, but that just went through the roof.
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that → ’m → roof
My digestion’s always been a problem and that went off the charts.
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that → go → charts
Nausea, lack of appetite, freezing cold feet, inflammation went nuts.
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Nausea → freeze → appetite
I was not exactly walking on sunshine.
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I → walk → sunshine
I came back to Melbourne, and my first alarm bell was that I didn’t want to come back to Melbourne, and that was crazy because I love Melbourne.
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I → come → Melbourne
I was meant to have a meeting with my management, which sounds like I’m a great deal more famous than I am.
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I → mean → management
I couldn’t sleep at all the night before, and at some point during that evening, I just went, “Oh my god, I think I have to accept that this is what burnout feels like” because the idea of having any plans, just the thought of it made me want to cry.
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me → sleep → it
I went in the next day and said I need six months off, and that was the start of me going, “Holy hell, what now?”
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me → go → months
But it’s quite a serious book, too, isn’t it?
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it → ’ → ?
I’m very deep, Gay.
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I → ’m → ?
It’s taking this experience and thinking, “What is this?”
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What → take → experience
I’ve got to my mid-50s and I just don’t feel happy.
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I → get → mid-50s
I don’t feel fulfilled.
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I → feel → ?
I thought work was going to fulfil me, but it doesn’t any more.
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it → think → me
How can I try to work out how to feel better, or how to feel less shit?
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I → try → shit
What does work in this era for a middle-aged person who – and a lot of us are like this – just doesn’t feel happy or fulfilled despite outward success?
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lot → feel → success
I got into yoga in my early 30s.
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I → get → 30s
But I think we all know that half the stuff about wellness, like meditation, like breath work, is great.
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stuff → think → work
We all know about midlife crises and mine really seemed to start about 15 years ago, and I don’t know that it’s ever going to end.
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it → know → crises
But a lot of us reach that point in our life where we go, “Hang on a minute, I’ve done all the stuff.”
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I → reach → stuff
In my case, I obviously didn’t have a family, but I did throw myself into work and worked hard and achieved a certain amount of success, and there were many aspects of my life that I certainly was happy with.
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I → have → that
But then I just sort of looked around and went, “I’ve never actually asked myself what I wanted my life to look like,” and I couldn’t believe that it had taken me up into my mid-50s to ask myself that.
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it → look → that
You mention in the book a few times that wellness can be seen as middle-class or self-indulgent compared to people who haven’t got enough to eat.
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who → mention → enough
What did you mean?
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you → mean → What
At the risk of making myself throw up here, I think, no matter who you are, you’ve got to work that stuff out, and once you have your basic needs met – and I am lucky that I am certainly a person who’s had those needs met – everyone needs love and joy and purpose, and I had lost sight of all of that.
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I → make → that
…and 90 more, not listed.
The Aporia
