There’s an immediate, shared understanding as my partner and I lie back on the cabana cushions and breathe out a big sigh.
asserted
partner → ’ → sigh
The cocktails haven’t even arrived yet.
asserted
cocktails → arrive → ?
We haven’t even had a chance to get in the pool.
asserted
We → have → pool
But the holiday – or at least, a few hours of holiday – begins here.
asserted
holiday → begin → holiday
Because right now, someone else is looking after our kids.
asserted
someone → look → kids
Some of you may scoff at this.
uncertain
Some → scoff → this
But then, you’re probably happy to have someone come in and clean your room every day.
asserted
someone → ’re → room
You have someone else cook your dinner each night.
asserted
someone → have → dinner
Why not have some assistance with the duty that takes up the bulk of your life, whether on holiday or not?
asserted
that → have → holiday
There’s no way you could have convinced me that childcare was an indulgence before I became a parent.
uncertain
I → ’ → me
Kids club, no kids club – who cares?
asserted
who → care → ?
Your kids will find something to do regardless.
asserted
kids → find → something
I also didn’t spend a whole lot of time in the sort of places that did have childcare facilities, because I wasn’t in the market.
asserted
I → spend → market
And I didn’t care because when you don’t have kids, you can’t possibly get your head around the all-encompassing nature of looking after children.
uncertain
you → care → children
They say there’s no such thing as a holiday when you have young kids – it’s just parenting in a nicer location.
asserted
it → say → location
There’s a physicality to this care, particularly in the early years, of getting up at night and cleaning up after everyone during the day and getting people dressed and ready to go.
asserted
people → ’ → day
But there’s a huge mental load too, of organising multiple lives in your mind, trying to make sure everyone is getting the attention they deserve, answering questions, planning activities, just worrying incessantly about terrible things happening, and then worrying that you’re worrying far too much about these terrible things.
asserted
you → ’ → things
And you don’t need a holiday from that?
asserted
you → need → that
We don’t have to constantly scan the pool to make sure no one is drowning.
asserted
one → have → pool
We don’t have to answer esoteric questions that will take us down wild conversational pathways that we will never be able to dig ourselves out of.
asserted
we → have → ourselves
The only person I will take to the toilet in the next two hours will be me.
asserted
I → take → me
They say there’s no such thing as a holiday when you have young kids – it’s just parenting in a nicer location.
asserted
it → say → location
Quite often though it’s parenting in a more difficult location, because the hotel doesn’t have comfortable bedding for little kids, or the restaurants don’t have the right food, or a million other things that are easier to manage in your own home.
asserted
that → ’ → home
Holidays begin to look more like a challenge than a pleasure.
asserted
Holidays → begin → pleasure
A parent once said to me, “It’s hard work making beautiful memories,” and that is so true that I have repeated it on every trip away with the family since.
asserted
I → say → family
We will look back on these times with pleasure.
asserted
We → look → pleasure
But in the moment, we know how hard we’re working just to get through it.
asserted
we → know → it
Which brings me back to the indulgence of childcare.
asserted
Which → bring → childcare
Indulgence looks like the sign-in desk at the kids’ club at Elements of Byron resort.
asserted
Indulgence → look → resort
They only do this during school holidays, though fortunately that’s when we’re visiting.
asserted
we → do → holidays
So we sign the kids in and they run inside all excited to play with toys and make arts and crafts and meet new friends.
asserted
they → sign → friends
We slink off in the direction of the pool, knowing we have a shady cabana bagged and nothing else to do for the next couple of hours but sip pina coladas and maybe even read a few pages of the books that we optimistically decided to bring with us.
asserted
we → slink → us
The mental load diminishes for a few brief moments.
asserted
load → diminish → moments
The physical effort disappears.
asserted
effort → disappear → ?
No one has made a bum joke in several minutes.
asserted
one → make → minutes
This is the stuff holiday dreams are made of, the ultimate indulgence in many ways.
asserted
dreams → make → ways
We do go on holidays without having someone else around to help with the kids.
asserted
We → go → kids
We travelled to Japan for 10 days and everyone had a ball exploring and eating and gaping at the wonders that country has to offer.
asserted
country → travel → wonders
Jess and I also worked really hard every day making those beautiful memories happen.
asserted
memories → work → ?
But then we went to Fiji, to Jean-Michel Cousteau Resort, which provides one dedicated nanny per child for your entire holiday, and wow, you have never been so indulged.
asserted
you → go → holiday
…and 7 more, not listed.
The Aporia
