In true Hollywood fashion, the Los Angeles Rams showed up fashionably late to their date with the San Francisco 49ers in Melbourne and paid dearly for it.
asserted
Rams → show → it
Turns out being late is a faux pas in the Land Down Under, too.
asserted
being → turn → Land
The Rams were technically the home team at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, but when somebody yelled out, “Whose house?” all of Australia, decked out in red and gold, yelled back “Our house.”
asserted
all → yell → house
At least Melbourne native Chris Hemsworth knows how to wield a hammer.
asserted
Hemsworth → know → hammer
After a 27-7 thumping by the 49ers in which the Rams looked jet-lagged, lethargic and offensively lost, they finally return to their actual home on Monday night when they host the New York Giants.
asserted
they → look → Giants
And suddenly, Week 2 feels much bigger than it should.
asserted
it → feel → ?
The Rams have had 10 days to digest the humiliation in Australia.
asserted
Rams → have → Australia
Matthew Stafford threw for only 155 yards with no touchdowns and an interception after winning NFL MVP and leading the league with 4,707 yards and 46 touchdown passes last season.
asserted
Stafford → throw → yards
An offense that averaged 30.5 points per game somehow managed just seven.
asserted
that → average → seven
Puka Nacua was one of the few bright spots, catching five passes for 74 yards, but he is questionable for Week 2 after missing practice Friday and Saturday with a hip injury after dealing with groin, psoas and lower-back issues throughout August.
asserted
he → catch → August
As bad as the Rams offense looked in Week 1, the defense wasn’t much better.
asserted
defense → look → Week
The Rams surrendered 174 rushing yards, failed to record a sack on 34 pass attempts and generated just two quarterback hits.
asserted
Rams → surrender → hits
Myles Garrett finished with the same statistical line as Aaron Donald, who watched from the comforts of his couch at home in Los Angeles: zero tackles, zero sacks and zero pressures.
asserted
who → finish → Angeles
Now Garrett is on injured reserve following a knee procedure, leaving Donald to make his anticipated return after more than two years away from football.
asserted
Garrett → follow → football
Across the field, the Giants arrive with considerably more swagger after beating Dallas on Sunday Night Football.
asserted
Giants → arrive → Football
Jaxson Dart, aka “Dart Vader” if you’re feeling particularly Sith-like — threw for 230 yards and three touchdowns while adding 59 rushing yards.
asserted
you → feel → yards
Isaiah Likely caught eight passes for 78 yards and two touchdowns, Malik Nabers returned with six catches for 69 yards and Cam Skattebo rushed for 81 yards and a score.
asserted
Skattebo → catch → yards
Skattebo has already talked about trying to run through Donald on Monday night.
asserted
Skattebo → talk → night
Odell Beckham Jr. returns to the stadium where he helped the Rams win Super Bowl LVI — and where he tore his ACL during that championship game.
asserted
he → return → game
The Giants also bring a dangerous pass rush featuring Abdul Carter and Kayvon Thibodeaux against a Rams offense that looked painfully predictable in Melbourne.
asserted
that → bring → Melbourne
The Rams lead the all-time series 30-17, including the postseason, but the Giants won their last playoff meeting, 16-13, in the 1984 Wild Card round.
asserted
Giants → lead → round
But who cares about 1984.
asserted
who → care → 1984
For the Rams, Monday night is about proving Week 1 belonged to another time zone, another continent and another version of themselves.
asserted
Week → prove → themselves
Mauigoa did not allow a pressure on 36 pass-blocking snaps in his NFL debut, according to Next Gen Stats, the most pass-blocking snaps without surrendering a pressure by a rookie in a Week 1 game over the past eight seasons.
uncertain
Mauigoa → allow → seasons
His encore could feature Donald, who plans to make his first appearance since 2023.
uncertain
who → feature → 2023
The Rams desperately need him.
asserted
Rams → need → him
Los Angeles failed to record a sack in Australia and now will be without Garrett for at least four games.
asserted
Angeles → fail → games
Donald won’t be expected to play every snap, but his presence alongside Kobie Turner, Braden Fiske, Poona Ford and Byron Young could transform the front.
uncertain
presence → expect → front
Mauigoa passed his first NFL exam against the Cowboys, but the second has a gold jacket waiting at the end of it.
asserted
jacket → pass → it
The potential benefit arrives Monday.
asserted
benefit → arrive → ?
The team returned home quickly and has had 10 days to recover and prepare, while the Giants must travel across the country following a Sunday night game.
asserted
Giants → return → game
The Giants’ pass rush and Dart’s mobility will cause problems, but expect a much sharper Stafford and a desperate Rams defense energized by Donald’s return.
asserted
rush → cause → return
After spending Week 1 as the world’s most geographically confused home team, the Rams finally get to play in SoFi Stadium again and will get their first win with it.
asserted
Rams → spend → it
Four Downs
First Down: Stop the run
Nothing else matters defensively until the Rams prove they can stop somebody from running directly at them.
asserted
they → stop → them
The 49ers piled up 174 rushing yards in Week 1, continuing a troubling issue from last season.
asserted
49ers → pile → season
Now comes Skattebo, who ran for 81 yards and a touchdown against Dallas and has eight scrimmage touchdowns through his first nine NFL games.
asserted
who → come → games
Dart adds another dimension after rushing for 59 yards in the opener.
asserted
Dart → add → opener
Chris Shula’s defense cannot allow New York to live in second-and-manageable situations.
asserted
York → allow → situations
If the Giants establish the run, play action opens and Likely becomes even more dangerous over the middle.
asserted
Likely → establish → middle
Donald’s return should help, but one man cannot repair an entire front.
asserted
man → help → front
…and 24 more, not listed.
The Aporia
