As a proud Gen Xer, I have fond memories of the 1984 film “The Karate Kid,” the beloved underdog film about a bullied high schooler whose friendship with a wise, unassuming Japanese-American karate master helps him find balance and purpose in life.
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him → have → life
The expression “Wax on, wax off” has entered the pop culture lexicon, and the sight of Daniel-san (Ralph Macchio) crouched like a crane ready to strike still gives me a lump in the throat.
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san → wax → throat
What’s more, Pat Morita’s dignified, sly performance as Mr. Miyagi — which earned him an Oscar nomination — was one of the first times I saw an Asian actor on the big screen in a non-stereotypical role.
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I → ’ → role
But as a responsible theatre critic, I have to report that “The Karate Kid — The Musical,” while it tells pretty much the same story as the film, is completely unnecessary.
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it → have → film
Drew Gasparini’s songs are banal and generic, the antagonists have been flattened to cardboard villains, and the love story has been rendered superfluous.
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story → flatten → villains
Thankfully, book writer Robert Mark Kamen, who also wrote the screenplay, has kept what made the film — the bond between teacher and student — so special and unique.
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film → write → teacher
And at least one actor delivers a performance worthy of the grand Princess of Wales Theatre.
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actor → deliver → Theatre
Daniel LaRusso (Gino Ochello) and his widowed mother Lucille (Jodie Jacobs) have moved from New Jersey to California for a fresh start.
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LaRusso → move → start
No sooner does Daniel meet a cute high school senior named Ali (Abigail Amin) than her brutish ex, Johnny (Joe Simmons), begins getting jealous.
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ex → meet → senior
Besides their history, Ali and Johnny share an upper-crust background in the wealthier “hills” area, unlike Daniel, who lives in the more working-class valley.
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who → share → valley
(If you experience déjà vu while watching this particular narrative play out, join the club.
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narrative → experience → club
Three months ago, “The Outsiders” musical, also based on a 1980s film starring Ralph Macchio, featured the exact same relationship triangle.)
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Outsiders → base → triangle
Johnny, who with his fellow bullies practice karate as part of the Cobra Kai dojo under the sadistic military vet John Kreese (Matt Mills), continually picks on Daniel, until his building’s caretaker, Mr. Miyagi (Adrian Pang), comes up with a peaceful solution involving an upcoming Karate Competition.
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caretaker → practice → Competition
And so begins Mr. Miyagi’s unorthodox karate training, which consists of washing cars, sanding floors and painting fences, all of which give the young trainee the requisite skills to handle himself in a match.
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all → begin → match
More than that, he teaches the boy valuable lessons about fighting as a last resort.
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he → teach → resort
The main problem with the musical is how basic and on-the-nose Gasparini’s songs feel.
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songs → feel → nose
When Daniel sings about not fitting in at school, your mind immediately goes to more effective numbers about the same thing from shows like “Dear Evan Hansen.”
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mind → sing → Hansen
And a couple of Cobra Kai numbers are so over-the-top — all shaded in red, to indicate violence, with regimented choreography and the appearance of American GIs, to bring to mind America’s loss in Vietnam — they are jaw-dropping.
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they → shade → Vietnam
Derek McLane’s set for the most part consists of Japanese-style paper screens, which open and close so clumsily that with each squeak I thought I heard Mr. Miyagi grunting his disapproval.
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Miyagi → consist → disapproval
Against them, Peter Nigrini’s projections look cheap and perfunctory.
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projections → look → them
Director Amon Miyamoto shows great delicacy and restraint in the scenes between Daniel and Mr. Miyagi.
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Miyamoto → show → Daniel
Ochello brings a youthfulness to the role, but his singing voice sounds small and strained.
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voice → bring → role
Pang, however, adds nuance, intelligence and perfect comic timing to his every action and line reading.
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Pang → add → reading
I wish Miyamoto had handled the rest of the cast with similar understatement.
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Miyamoto → wish → understatement
Simmons’ preppy villain Johnny is so villainous, he might as well sport a moustache and be twirling it.
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he → sport → it
If someone ever makes “Full Metal Jacket: The Musical,” he’d be great as the sadistic sergeant.
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he → make → sergeant
On opening night, composer Gasparini and book writer Kamen bounded onto the stage after the cast’s final bows.
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Gasparini → bound → bows
Kamen then introduced a spry-looking Macchio to say a few words about the show, and the audience went wild, hundreds of cellphones capturing this photo op.
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hundreds → introduce → op
His appearance should go viral.
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appearance → go → ?
Which is smart marketing, because this underwhelming show needs something to sell it and create balance and harmony at the box office.
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show → need → office
The Aporia
