Canada is giving paper straws to jailbirds across federal prisons for “safer snorting” of drugs such as cocaine, methamphetamine and heroin, according to a memo that went out to correctional officers.
uncertain
that → give → officers
Federal officials in the Great White North were apparently worried inmates might nick themselves while shoving dope up their snouts.
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inmates → worry → snouts
The document, posted by an unnamed corrections officer last week on social media, said the single-use biodegradable straws were intended for inhaling “substances in powdered form” or “vapor from heated substances.”
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straws → post → substances
“Using paper straws helps reduce harm by lowering the risk of cuts or tears inside the nose when compared to homemade or plastic straws,” reads the four-page memo from Correctional Service Canada, which oversees 43 federal prisons north of the border.
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which → use → border
The woke nation is also handing out foil that is “stronger and thicker” than household foil “for safer smoking.”
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that → hand → smoking
“It is designed specifically for smoking substances,” the memo reads, noting that the junk might be in pill, rock or powder form.
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junk → design → form
Prison nurses are being enlisted to hand out the gear — and even teach inmates how to use it.
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nurses → enlist → it
They began preparations Thursday, with the items set to be made available within the next two weeks.
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items → begin → weeks
Inmates will be allowed to keep up to two paper straws and three strips of foil in their cells, which the feds cited as “reasonable limits based on anticipated use.
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feds → allow → use
The controversial move comes “in response to increased inhalation, smoking and snorting substances among federal inmates,” the note said.
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note → come → inmates
Nearly 20% of Canadian male inmates reported snorting drugs in prison, according to a 2025 report by Correctional Service Canada.
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% → report → Canada
Another 24% said they smoked dope, and 4% admitted to shooting up behind bars.
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% → say → bars
“As methods of use evolve, harm reduction measures must also adapt,” it stated.
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it → evolve → use
But critics are already bashing the idea, with Ontario Premier Doug Ford vowing to put his foot down in his province.
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Ford → bash → province
“Under our government’s watch, we will never let this happen in Ontario jails,” Ford wrote on X.
“This is exactly why criminals don’t get rehabilitated in prison,” slammed federal opposition leader Pierre Poilievre.
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Poilievre → let → prison
“The government helps them do dangerous, addictive drugs in prison that make them even more violent when they come out.”
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they → help → prison
Correctional officers and staff called the move “delusional” and “absolute insanity.”
“Who is in leadership?
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Who → call → leadership
We can’t be the only ones questioning this.
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We → question → this
Why would they think this is okay?
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this → think → ?
I want to believe this is a joke,” commented one in a Reddit thread on the topic.
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one → want → topic
“Why are the prisons and government bending the knee to these inmates?” lamented another.
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another → bend → inmates
Illegal drugs are still forbidden in Canadian prison and should result in the same disciplinary action as before, the memo noted.
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memo → forbid → action
Since 2018, 13 federal prisons in Canada have already had needle exchange programs for inmates, including five, in Ontario, Quebec, Alberta and Nova Scotia, that straight up offer safe injection sites — where convicts can use smuggled drugs to shoot up under the watchful eye of a medical professional.
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convicts → have → professional
That’s further than even the wokest jurisdictions in the United States have gone.
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jurisdictions → ’ → States
California state prisons, and Los Angeles and San Diego County jails, are among a handful where inmates have direct access to naloxone, to treat fentanyl overdoses.
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inmates → have → overdoses
Corrections Canada did not return The Post’s request for comment.
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Canada → return → comment
The Aporia
