It's the narcissism that gets me.
asserted
that → get → me
Of course, to succeed, politicians require a healthy degree of ego but most of them couple that confidence with a degree of self-awareness.
asserted
most → succeed → awareness
Not so, Hannah Mary Goodlad, SNP minister for public finance, who – and I can barely believe I’m about to type these words – is currently advertising for an ‘artist-in-residence’.
asserted
I → believe → residence
The successful applicant will receive – over a fixed-term contract between November and February – £11,000 of taxpayers’ money for generating propaganda for the Shetland MSP.
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applicant → receive → MSP
Of course, Ms Goodlad doesn’t make that explicit.
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that → make → ?
Rather, her advertisement states that the role – for an artist from any discipline, including painting, music or textile design – will provide an opportunity ‘to engage with the community in a meaningful way’.
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role → state → way
Whoever the minister hires will be expected to ‘contribute to and deliver projects exploring policy areas of priority to the MSP’.
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hires → hire → MSP
But make no mistake, for all the doublespeak in the job description, the Scottish taxpayer is being asked to foot the bill for the employment by a government minister of a propagandist.
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taxpayer → make → propagandist
No artist with a shred of integrity will apply for this role.
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artist → apply → role
It is a refuge for a talentless hack, willing to take their ‘inspiration’ from another’s ideology.
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It → take → ideology
That stated, judging by the number of ‘creatives’ who threw their weight behind the SNP’s incoherent independence plans during the 2014 referendum campaign, there will be no shortage of such hacks vying to work for the minister.
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who → state → minister
When news of Ms Goodlad’s ridiculous plan emerged, the backlash was swift and predictable.
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backlash → emerge → plan
Opposition politicians – quite correctly – condemned her decision to use taxpayers’ money in this way.
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politicians → condemn → way
Hannah Mary Goodlad is advertising for an artist in residence to help with messaging
The advert which sets out the responsibilities and requirements for the applicant
The minister was unrepentant.
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minister → advertise → applicant
She’d take no lectures from the likes of Reform MSP Max Bannerman, who’d led a chorus of disapproval.
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who → take → disapproval
She was in this to make sure politics felt different and more accessible.
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felt → make → this
‘I wouldn’t,’ said the 36-year-old former oil industry executive, ‘be hiring for the role if there wasn’t a need’.
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executive → say → role
In a video posted on social media, she defended herself, yet it may come as a surprise to Ms Goodlad’s constituents, who face fuel and energy costs 20 per cent higher and more than on the mainland, that it is necessary, right now, for their MSP to have her work interpreted by an artist.
uncertain
work → post → artist
Will fears over unemployment be assuaged by the production of a collage?
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fears → assuage → collage
Does the ongoing cost-of-living crisis demand, in response, an installation?
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crisis → demand → installation
Will educational standards be improved by the creation of a soundscape?
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standards → improve → soundscape
Young, articulate and hugely successful in her past career, she has a great deal going for her.
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she → have → her
All she lacks is a basic grasp of politics.
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she → lack → politics
Ms Goodlad may have enjoyed righteously huffing and puffing about the need for her to hire an artist-in-residence, but she does not enjoy the support of her more sensible colleagues.
uncertain
she → enjoy → colleagues
One of the SNP’s most successful strategists rightly dismissed the plan as ‘ridiculous’, while a fellow MSP asked me what on earth she imagined she was playing at.
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she → dismiss → earth
‘I’ve got enough on my plate,’ said this exasperated SNP parliamentarian, ‘without having to explain to constituents why it’s absolutely fine for Hannah to hire an artist to commemorate how amazing she is’.
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she → get → artist
On this matter, First Minister John Swinney has shown the level of leadership we have come to expect from him.
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we → show → him
By which I mean none.
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I → mean → none
Mr Swinney has remained silent while his junior colleague rages about her right to hire an artist with public money.
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colleague → remain → money
On Tuesday morning, Ms Goodlad – her ego now fully out of control – posted a weird video of herself delivering an ‘inspirational’ speech to an unseen audience.
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herself → post → audience
She had dubbed ‘inspirational’ music over the top.
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She → dub → top
Perhaps Ms Goodlad, narcissism personified, dreams of even greater productions under the direction of her new propagandist.
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narcissism → personify → propagandist
And why shouldn’t the widest possible audience be allowed to enjoy?
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audience → allow → ?
Meanwhile, back in the real world, the people of Scotland struggle through a cost-of-living crisis exacerbated by almost two decades of SNP financial mismanagement.
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people → struggle → mismanagement
The Nationalists have driven public services into the ground while concentrating their efforts on – and directing countless millions of pounds to – their constitutional obsession.
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Nationalists → drive → obsession
As winter approaches, there are serious concerns about the National Health Service’s ability to cope and Scotland’s schools continue to underperform.
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schools → approach → ability
How, in these circumstances, Hannah Mary Goodlad is able to convince herself not only that it is wise to advertise for an artist-in-residence but also that, having been called out for it, she should double down, is a mystery to me.
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she → convince → me
Ms Goodlad is adamant she will take no lectures on this matter from journalists.
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she → take → journalists
I wouldn’t dream of trying.
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I → dream → ?
What would be the point when Ms Goodlad has shown herself to be fully detached from reality?
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Goodlad → show → reality
…and 7 more, not listed.
The Aporia
