Photo via The Sydney Morning Herald

My sincere apologies, but I’m one of those idiots who can’t park a car

Read the original at The Sydney Morning Herald ↗
Cite

Katz, D. (2026, September 25). My sincere apologies, but I’m one of those idiots who can’t park a car. The Sydney Morning Herald. https://www.smh.com.au/national/my-sincere-apologies-but-i-m-one-of-those-idiots-who-can-t-park-a-car-20260926-p60w5j.html?ref=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_source=rss_feed

Dated when The Aporia collected the article, usually within hours of publication. Check the original for its exact date and byline.

The Sydney Morning Herald · collected 2026-09-25 · by Danny Katz

Quick Summary

The article discusses a common frustration with parking and offers advice on how to handle it when someone parks poorly next to you, leaving your car crooked as well. The author humorously admits their own inability to park properly and suggests leaving notes both on your own and the offending vehicle's windshield to explain the situation. This advice is presented in a light-hearted manner, using analogies like comparing bad parking to finding an unclean toilet seat.
Written by AI on 2026-09-26, from this article's own text only (the story summary below draws on all the coverage).

AI analysis

Story summary

Danny Katz from the Sydney Morning Herald discusses the frustration of being blamed for poorly parked cars, even when one is merely parking next to them. T.J., in Battery Point, TAS, asked if they should leave a note on their windshield to explain that the bad parking was not their fault once another car has left. Katz compares this situation humorously to using a public toilet and having to prove it wasn’t you who made a mess before leaving. He then admits his own inability to park properly, describing how reversing often leaves one wheel on the footpath or sidewalk and frontward parking results in wheels on the curb with his car sticking out awkwardly. Katz expresses sincere apologies for contributing to the problem of bad parking.

Written for “Parking Complaints” on 2026-11-01, grounded in this article and the 0 other(s) covering the same event.

Story

📰 Parking Complaints
Other · 1 article(s) covering the same event.

Compared with similar articles

This article reads unscored and hedges 0% of its claims. Each row says how that neighbour differs.
‘Disgruntled’ car owner slaps ‘shame sticker’ on NYC sanitation car Different event
New York Post
Hedges 0 of 12 claims Outlet record 66/100
“The articles describe different scenarios involving parking issues; Article A is about a 'shame sticker' placed on a sanitation vehicle, while Article B discusses leaving notes to explain one's own improper parking.”
How this article was measured signals, leaning charts, publisher record, byline, topics and claims

Signals How these are calculated →

Claims extracted
12
sentences that state something as happening or true
Uncertain
0%
0 of 12 hedged ("reportedly", "may", "according to")
Leaning
not political
takes no side on a contested political question
Publisher signals
61/100
The Sydney Morning Herald's corrections and hedging, across everything collected from it. Not a measure of accuracy.
Outlets on this story
1
Other
Same framing elsewhere
1
articles that frame the event the way this one does
Analyzed 2026-09-26 · how these are computed

How this is being covered How these are calculated →

Article leaning vs. publisher reliability
Source leaning vs. consistency

Publisher

The Sydney Morning Herald · 5731 article(s) · 15 correction(s) detected
Running correction rate · 15 correction(s)
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Who wrote this

Danny Katz
4 article(s) here · 0 carrying a prediction
🔮 Maybe he’s a classical guitarist and he needs long nails to scratch the face of other classical guitarists because it’s a very competitive industry.
2026-10-16 · assertive framing · My colleague’s long, pointy fingernails make me retch
🔮 But if your artist friend popped round unexpectedly, this clearly wouldn’t be possible: you’d have to keep them waiting at the door while you ran to the garage, grabbed the portrait, raced back into the house, then hung it on a wall using a hammer, a nail and Polyfilla to patch the crumbling plaster.
2026-10-02 · assertive framing · I hung a friend’s portrait of me in my garage. What if the artist drops by unexpectedly?
🔮 Wearing earplugs may be useful if you want to drown the drone.
2026-09-18 · assertive framing · My neighbour plays the same song – badly – on his keyboard until late. What can I do?
Also by Danny Katz
My colleague’s long, pointy fingernails make me retch
2026-10-16 · The Sydney Morning Herald
I hung a friend’s portrait of me in my garage. What if the artist drops by unexpectedly?
2026-10-02 · The Sydney Morning Herald
My neighbour plays the same song – badly – on his keyboard until late. What can I do?
2026-09-18 · The Sydney Morning Herald
Nothing else under this byline is closely related to this article, so these are simply their most recent.

Topics

Battery Point Good Weekend TAS

Subjects

Battery Point GPE · 1× T.J. PERSON · 1× TAS GPE · 1×

Narrative

This is the vehicular equivalent of using a toilet that’s been tainted by a previous user and when you walk out, someone’s waiting to go in – then you have to explain that it wasn’t you who made the mess, it was there when you arrived and you’re happy to provide DNA samples if they want to cross-check.
framing: assertive · carried by 1 article(s) · first seen 2026-09-26
2026-09-26 · The Sydney Morning Herald
My sincere apologies, but I’m one of those idiots who can’t park a car · assertive framing

Claims (12 extracted, 0 hedged)

If I park next to someone who’s parked badly and I also need to leave my car a bit crooked, it looks as though I’m the idiot once the offending car has driven off. asserted
car → park → car
Should I leave a note on my windscreen explaining it wasn’t my fault? asserted
it → leave → windscreen
This is the vehicular equivalent of using a toilet that’s been tainted by a previous user and when you walk out, someone’s waiting to go in – then you have to explain that it wasn’t you who made the mess, it was there when you arrived and you’re happy to provide DNA samples if they want to cross-check. asserted
they → use → samples
No one wants to be blamed for someone else’s offensive business, whether it’s a badly parked car or a badly cacked mark. asserted
it → want → business
And in the case of the car, I offer my sincerest apologies to you and the wider car-parking community because I’m one of those idiots responsible. asserted
I → offer → idiots
I can’t park a car: I just can’t do it. asserted
I → park → it
If I reverse-park, I wind up with one wheel on the footpath, and one wheel on the foot of the person sitting at an outdoor cafe. asserted
I → park → cafe
If I park frontward, I wind up with a wheel on the kerb and my arse sticking out – my actual arse because I have to get out of the car to see where my hubcap rolled off to. asserted
hubcap → park → car
If I park between lines, I wind up at a 30-degree angle, try to straighten up, try again, then drive home and catch public transport back to where I started. asserted
I → park → transport
If it makes you feel better, leave two notes: one on your windscreen stating your parking innocence and one on their windscreen stating their parking incompetence. asserted
you → make → incompetence
And if you find any of their hubcaps, they’re yours to keep as a gift to say sorry. asserted
they → find → gift
Get the best of Good Weekend delivered to your inbox every Saturday morning. asserted
best → get → inbox
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